Blog - November 25, 2022

Day 25: The November Happiness Challenge 2022

Forgiveness

It is defined in many ways but the one that truly resonates with me is that Forgiveness is the act of letting go of hurt, anger and resentment towards another person regardless of what they might have done. It isn’t as simple as that sounds, it is actually being intentional about releasing pain from your heart and moving over an unpleasant situation. It could take just one step for some people or particular situations, while with other situations, you may have to go through different stages which include sitting with your feelings and separating them, so as to know how best you can forgive someone. Due to the inter dependence of humans, it is almost impossible to get through life without being in situations where we’d have to forgive other people or where they’d be the one to forguve us. It isn’t always intentional to hurt people, and that happens vice versa too. The unease that comes with carrying pain around can be so huge that we’d realise that letting it go is actually much better. I for one do not like holding grudges with people, and this is because I don’t like how my chest does gbim anytime I think about them. I just want to live my life free of malice and disconcerting thoughts, but hamn beings will always try one another. I preach contentment quite often because of the aforementioned points, and because I like to remind people to do what they’d be done by. If you continously insist on not forgiving others when they err, hwo do you expect forgiveness when you err too ? Also, the Almighty who is the greatest has given us multiple chances to err and be forgiven, and this is the ultimate; this should serve as a nudge for us to live in His path, and prompt one another to do right by practising forgiveness. It would be disingineous of me to say that Forgiveness is easy. I said it earlier, Forgiveness can be really difficult especially when you repeatedly think of how someone did you dirty despite how good you have been to them. You would find yourself asking questions to the wind without no response because you are just really hurt by the situation that happened, which might have been unnecssary. But if you continue to think deeply like that, you might never move past it and you’d be carrying it everywhere with you. Stressful, don’t you think? As humans, our infallibility is unavoidable, and we have to always know that the fact that someone does one bad thing does not mean that is how they’d always be. However, if  they have repeatedly shown you signs that they are unrepentant and would always do things to hurt you, then maybe you truly need to forgive them from afar and wave at them. Which brings me to the next point about how many people assume that Forgiveness automatically means you must accept people back into your life. Nope! As much as the seemingly acceptable thing is you going back to being chummy with someone who hurt you just because you have forgiven them, I don’t think this must be the situation. You can protect yourself by not allowing a closeness with someone who has repeatedly hurt you, but please find a way to forgive them. Again, it is the better for you. According to Greater good, there are some eight ways to learn and practise forgiveness and they are listed below:

1. Know what forgiveness is and why it matters. …
2. Become “forgivingly fit” …
3. Address your inner pain. …
4. Develop a forgiving mind through empathy. …
5. Find meaning in your suffering. …
6. When forgiveness is hard, call upon other strengths. …
7. Forgive yourself.
8. Develop a forgiving heart.

I hope that we are all able to internalize these points and make them a part of our daily lives. This applies to me too, becausen truly, forgiveness can be difficult. But the goal is living wholesome and happy and healthy lives, so, we say yes to forgiveness. What does forgiveness mean to you? How often do you forgive? Do you find it easy or difficult to forgive? Let’s talk. I’ll be back. OBA