Having Baby A : My Pregnancy and Birthing Story

It was June 2023, and it had been five years since we had Fareedah. I wrote about having her here.

I knew that I was ready to have another child, and I only needed to convince my husband to get on board. You see, we had planned to have a minimum of four years spacing for our kids, and other reasons also contributed to the achievement of this. My husband, if left to decide, was fine with us having Baby F only, and sticking by that. My theory to this is that when you are a present parent who goes all the way for their child, you wouldn’t want to have so many kids, because have you met kids? Have you?

Back to the story. I knew I was ready and I discussed it with him. He repeatedly asked me if I was sure and I said yes; it wasn’t my first time of hinting at it anyway, but this time, I was truly serious about it and I laid down my reasons, a key one being that I wasn’t getting younger and if we wanted to have more kids, it would be better to get to it already. He agreed with me and we prayed about it, while planning to become strategic.

July came and I remember vividly that I was at a friend’s place making her hair when I started feeling mild cramps. I immediately texted my husband to lament about how I had not left the house with sanitary towels and it seemed like my period was coming earlier, also mentioned to him how that meant there was no pregnancy that month. He then suggested that I ask my friend if she could spare one, I did just that and got myself fixed up. I had a slight hint of disappointment but he told me not to dwell on it at all because why would I start getting worried that soon? He reminded me that there was no reason to rush and we should just keep the faith that it will happen at the best time granted by God.

I returned home and I realised the period hadn’t come, ah ah, why did I now go and borrow pad? smh. The cramps didn’t go though, on and off; mild and severe, it remained. Day 2 came, day 3, day 4, no show, just the cramps. The initial expected day for the period arrived and it still hadn’t come. At this point, my husband blurted out : “You are pregnant” and I told him it was too early to be certain. I had been feeling funny in addition to the cramps and it was similar to how I felt with Baby F’s pregnancy in the early days, but I didn’t want to be too ahead of myself and then get disappointed later. I went to the store later to pick some items and before leaving, I went to the pharmacy for a pregnancy kit.

I waited till the next morning as it is said that the best time to run the home test was with the first urine of the day. I woke up, went to pee and my husband was laughing before I went in because he was almost sure what the result would be. Lo and behold, he was right, there were two bold lines. We were pregnant again. Alhamdulilah. It was so surreal, you know. Deciding that you wanted something, praying to God about it and seeing it happen immediately. We were both so surprised, happy, thankful and thankful and thankful again. Now, the journey begins.

F had an appointment at the GP’s (General Practitioner) later that day, so while there, I saw a flier that had all the details of what to do if you were pregnant and needed to register. I saved the details and registered when I got home. I was later scheduled for my first appointment weeks after. This was a surprise to me as during my first pregnancy in Nigeria, I could go into the hospital immediately to run a confirmatory blood test amongst other things. I had heard this wasn’t the case in the UK as the first appointments usually happened at 12 weeks but I assumed it was an exaggeration. Well, I experienced having to wait till 12 weeks and when I went, all the necessary tests were done and I also was scheduled to speak to a doctor later about what my preferred birthing plan would be. I liked that.

As if my symptoms were waiting for me to run a test, they came in full force and first trimester wasn’t funny, just like the last time. I have to acknowledge though, that I didn’t have Nausea and vomiting as much as I did with F’s pregnancy, but I still felt awful throughout that time. Luckily for me , my mum came to visit us at that time and was present for the entire first trimester so I had help from her and my husband. F too was helpful, I mean my baby is 5! It was during this first trimester that I still planned and executed an event in London. I almost cancelled it but it had been in the works before I found out I was pregnant. We had our event and it was beautiful.

After the first trimester, I got better and the pregnancy was smooth. My antenatal visits were okay and I had my partner accompany me to every single one. I had the anomaly scan done as it is routine here in the UK. I was so anxious when we did this but my husband kept telling me that God would perfect everything. Solid guy; that one. The results came and they were okay. As earlier said, things continued smoothly and the antenatal visits were all attended without issues.

When I had my first meeting with the doctor, I let them know that I had history of prolonged labour after induction which eventually led to an emergency C section due to cephalic occiput posterior position, and baby was in distress amongst other things, and due to this, I’d prefer to have a planned Caesarean, as I strongly believed that the earlier issues might come up again and I wouldn’t want another emergency one. They okayed my request and also said that if I changed my mind and decided to have a VBAC(Vaginal Birth after CS), that would be fine too and my decision would be accepted. I thanked them and knew that I was decided about this. My partner and I had earlier discussed it and he had made it clear that whatever I wanted was the most important. I wasn’t going to risk things and have the experience I had the first time (If you haven’t read it, you can do that here). I also mentioned how my BP was slightly raised during my last pregnancy and how despite it being normal at that moment, I would want it monitored throughout the pregnancy . That was noted and it indeed was monitored.

Pregnancy was smooth, but by smooth, I don’t mean it was easy. I easily got tired and could barely walk a distance without getting exhausted and breathing hard. I remember a particular experience when we went grocery shopping and my husband was carrying the bags and I told him to walk in front so that he could get to our next location quickly as I was walking slowly. After a while, I started feeling dizzy and just wanted to sit, in the middle of the road, you know. I kept dragging my feet and trying to be strong and then he looked back and saw how slow I was being. He dropped the bags somewhere and ran back to assist me and then I told him I just needed to sit. I didn’t care where we were, I just let him walk me to an entrance of a store and I actually sat down on the bare floor. Ah, pregnancy will do things to you. Me, slay queen of our time, sitting on the bare floor because nothing else seemed better at that point.

I realised that I didn’t have the kind of energy that I thought I did and I needed to slow down. It wasn’t like I was doing anything strenuous anyway. I ate good, slept as much as could and did only the chores that I was okay doing. Thankful for a solid support system. Are

Then came the later days with the big tummy and unease while sleeping. I’d toss and turn and pee like a million times before morning, I totally did not like that part. I was still thankful that everything was going smoothly, and I had no reason to worry. We had a gender scan and before it, my husband again told me we were having a girl. He said that he just knows he has ‘head for girls”. Funny abi? Anyway, I thought we’d have a boy because my two siblings had the two genders consecutively and I thought mine would be same. We had the scan and the sonographer wasn’t so pleasant so she didn’t even give us that anticipatory feel. she only asked us if we were interested in knowing and when we confirmed, she said : “It looks like you are having a girl”. My husband gave me the : I told you so” look and we began to prepare for our coming baby girl.

My husband and friends successfully planned a surprise baby shower for me, even though I knew somehow but didn’t say anything. (Sorry my darlings reading this, I knew!) I was truly happy because I never expected such seeing as we aren’t in Nigeria and I don’t have so many friends around. They still pulled that! Thank you, my people.

On one of the visits, we were told that the available date to have the baby was February 29th, as 2024 is a leap year. Babe and I had discussed the possibility of this since my EDD was around then. We were initially reluctant but then we thought about it thay what if we didn’t have the liberty to pick a date ? What if it was spontaneous labour that happened on that day? Would we push it back ? Lol. We accepted the date and prayed to God to make it end well, as that was everything that mattered.

Things kept going on smoothly, until a week before the D-Day when I went for a routine appointment and they found out my Blood Pressure was high. It wasn’t high on the extreme side but high enough to be monitored because of my condition. I also complained that I didn’t feel the baby’s movements as much as I used to. The way everyone of the medics went into emergency mode is one for the books. From leaving home for a regular check up, to being referred to the bigger hospital, to being placed on a bp monitor that read every ten minutes, to the baby’s heartbeat being monitored continuously and my bloodwork being done, it was scary but I had my man by my side reassuring me and reminding me to keep the faith. We weren’t released from the hospital until 12am and we were told I needed to come in the next day.

The midwife who measured the baby at that earlier regular appointment also said the baby was really big and that was concerning and they’d have suggested a Caeserean but it was already in the plan so I was good. So, there I was, with a high bp and big baby and suspected reduced fetal movement until they confirmed the baby was doing perfectly okay. Hmnn. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I truly was. The next day, I was called early to come in for a scan urgently and there we went again. It was reconfirmed that the baby was big and the sonographer also mentioned that a Caeserean was suggested but the doctor would explain better, The doctor then repeated what the midwife said, that the planned CS was the best. Thank God I had insisted from the beginning and prepared myself for it. They kept monitoring the BP and I was placed on anti hypertensives. I was told that if the medication didn’t regulate the BP well enough, they’d have to bring the baby out earlier than planned. Again. I won’t lie, these people are good with managing emergencies!

I was daily monitored and thankfully, it was regulated. The D day came and we had to leave the house very early as we were told. A Neighbour gracefully agreed to have Baby F with them; not only on that day but even previously on days that we had appointments and she wasn’t in school. I’ll never forget that neighbour’s kind gestures because they truly made it easy for babe and I to attend appointments together. Shout out to you, Mummy and Daddy Z, you rock!

We left the house with a prayer: “Oh Allah, we are leaving the house as a family of 3, please let us return as a family of 4, healthy and fine”. That prayer made me emotional, I won’t lie. I knew the many things that could go wrong, but I needed to be intentional about having good thoughts only.

We got to the hospital, got checked in and we started getting visits from different medics. From the doctors to the midwives to the anaesthetists. Everyone came to explain what their roles would be and what was to be expected. It was truly an experience because I totally liked how involved they made us feel and how they kept reassuring us.

I was very calm but I noticed babe was agitated and he is usually the very calm one. It was then my turn to reassure him that we’ll be fine . It was later announced that I was next and I was wheeled in, with my husband in tow. The process started and they kept explaining what they were doing to me, I was praying and praying and praying. My husband was praying too and repeatedly saying: “Wow Wow, you women are trying, you women are amazing, Subhanallah, I’m proud of you”, while rubbing my hands and finding it hard to look at the process. 😀

After a while, I was told that baby was about to come out, and there was a pull and splash. My baby’s cry resounded in the room and she was handed to me and placed on my chest . My gorgeous big baby with head full of hair! Alhamdulilah.

Then, she was taken to be checked and babe was asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord; yes, yes, yes! He did that and stayed while they cleaned up baby, also kept dashing to my side to be sure I was okay and telling me what was being done with the baby. What a moment it was.

I was later transferred to another bed to be wheeled to the ward, and I remember how the team told me I’d be lifted and might feel like I was falling but I should trust that they won’t let that happen 😀. It indeed felt like I was going to fall but I was securely transferred and we went to the ward. I was told that I lost a lot of blood so I had to be monitored.

We got to the ward and after some hours of rest, I insisted I was ready to stand up. Lol. Babe kept saying No but I really wanted to, and I did. The pain was felt but not so much and I later realised that the anaesthesia had not fully worn off which made me feel like I was super strong. After I slept overnight, the pain I woke up with wasn’t funny and then I remembered, yes, the deal has started! I know that when I tried to stand up at that moment, it was difficult but Omo Ope no Dey fold.

We were discharged later the next day after I was repeatedly asked if I was fine and with instructions on the injections I had to take daily to avoid blood clots. I had to get daily stomach injections for six weeks, you know. My husband was the one who did the honours.

This story is already too long and I hope I haven’t bored anyone. The story after our discharge and my healing after Caesarean and feeding the baby and everything post partum, has to come as a separate post so I don’t chase you all away with the length.

Today, 29th August,2024, Baby Amiyah Nihinlolawa Adeniran clocks six months and we are graduating from six full months of exclusive breastfeeding. I’m thankful to Allah, I’m proud of myself, I’m in awe of my husband’s support and commitment , I adore my baby F’s dedication to being a wonderful big sister, and I’m super super appreciative of Grandmas who were and are still there as backbones.

Thank you, family and friends for loving this family of mine and for being there in different ways. We cherish you.

Please say a prayer for baby A; as earlier said, we are six months today!

I’ll be back. OBA.