Blog - October 18, 2014
Making the Hard Decision
Hello People! I’m here again. I finally got a reason for my inconsistent posts. It’s due to the fact that I don’t always want to bore you with all the drama that go on in this big head of mine to avoid confusion. I also try hard not to do ‘cliche’ topics and hence I search all around the world for accurate or almost accurate topics to be discussed. Errrm, those reasons are just a cover up for my laziness. I’m sorry.
To the matter at hand, sometime ago, a friend called me and amidst tears told me how horrible she was feeling and how she did not know if she could survive much longer. I was really scared and I asked her what the unpleasant issue was. She then went further to explain to me how she had been dating a certain guy for three years only for her to find out recently that they were both of the ‘AS’ genotype.
I asked her why she ddnt find out earlier and she told me her mum always told her she was ‘AA’ and she told this guy before they started the relationship because he was keen on knowing about it since he knew his own and he couldn’t afford to engage in any risk. So, three years down the line, my friend and her bf were planning to get legal and they had to run many tests in lieu of their intended solemnization. It was at this point they found out the female isn’t ‘AA’ as she thought.
We don’t know if the fault is with her parents or whoever told her parents she was what she isn’t. I was very very sad for this friend of mine because I could barely wrap my mind around such a situation. I hear of many issues like this but it never really dawned on me, it took happening to a close friend to decipher how terrible this constant issue is. My friend was in tears and i could barely contain mine. She kept lamenting and chastising herself for not being doubly sure. But who would blame her? She believed what she was made to believe and that shouldn’t be her fault in any way, should it?
I’ve been hearing instances of people finding out too late about their incompatibilities with their spouses of many years and this saddens my soul. I sometimes say a silent prayer for God to make there be a permanent solution for issues like this and I don’t even know how realistic it could be. One can’t ignore this huge ‘hold back’ and decide to go ahead with a marriage to someone whose genotype isn’t compatible with ones and risk great chances of having a sour marriage because of unhealthy kids who might later in the future regret ever coming to the world. (I’m sorry if that sounded too deep’).
My take on this whole thing is that we should all please visit a reliable hospital around and be very sure of our genotypes before embarking on certain life changing issues. Yes, I know our parents have told us this is what we are and some of us might even have the proof but still, let’s find our ourselves and not risk going through something we could have avoided. I have lost friends who suffered from the sickle cell situation and even before their death, it was far from pleasant with their health. This is very sad, considering the fact that it could have been avoided.
Yes, I know this is the part where someone would say God would do it and perfect all things. Yes, I know how spiritual and religious we can get when it comes to everything we deal with and I would never commit no blasphemy by saying it is impossible. I just think God would rather lead you to where you would find out what to do and what not to do, why not stick more to that? I don’t know, but it’s just sad when you hear constant issues of couples going through hell because of their unhealthy children. You wouldn’t understand if you haven’t gone through it.
The post is getting too long today right? Oops i’m sorry. In conclusion, my candid advice to you is to find out what your genotype is and pls don’t go into anything without being sure of the other person’s own. When you find out you can’t be compatible with the awesome guy you’ve always dreamt of marrying, please let it go no matter how hard it seems, You would be glad you did. Don’t be part of those who say: Love conquers all’. No my dear, not in this instance. Don’t find out in the hard way that love is never enough. Don’t be a reason for your future child’s agony, There are many issues to contend with in a marriage already. Don’t allow the avoidable ones.
I know it’s hard. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. Please do the right thing. I’ll be back. BOS