June 14, 2019

This is a long overdue post. But I’m glad I waited and didn’t rush. It is going to be lengthy, and enjoyable , I hope.   I got married in December 2017.  If you live in the part of the world where I live, you would understand that people have expectations about your life and really believe you should live by them. I mean, who are you not to follow their perceived natural procession of growing up, going to school, getting married and then having children? You just had to do their bidding. Lol. Barely a month later, I was already getting funny stares in real life and comments on social media whenever I posted a picture. Comments like : “omg, pregnancy suits you”, ‘baby loading’ “Wow, cute preggy” (This particular one met me at a wrong moment so I gave her a piece of my mind). My friend, Olatoun knows the story and still uses that phrase to tease me till today. I did not find the comments funny because 1, I wasn’t pregnant. 2. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant, 3, I needed everyone to leave me the hell alone and stop watching my womb for me.  My husband and I already agreed to hold on a while and enjoy our marriage while the kids would come later, if and when Allah wills. We didn’t exactly do anything to prevent or make it happen, we just had the intentions of waiting and because our God is one who listens, He listened. We were going to move houses later in the year (2018), and my husband just told me one day that he had a dream that I would get pregnant immediately we moved. I laughed at him but I had a tugging feeling deep down that it was true because it wasn’t the first time he would have a dream and it would come to pass. So during the month of Ramadan, one of our prayer points was that if indeed it would be beneficial for us, Allah should grant us an offspring that would be with us by the next Ramadan. Related:  The Z and W Wedding

FINDING OUT

We moved in July 2018, and had to travel to our hometown almost immediately for Eid (Sallah as non muslims call it). I had also planned a meet and greet with different ladies to be held after the Sallah so I had my hands full. We didn’t get a direct flight to Ibadan so we had to book a flight to Lagos and then a cab to Ibadan. On the day we flew, My monthly flow was due so I was cranky throughout the journey because I was feeling so uneasy and nothing was forthcoming.  On getting to Ibadan, I had become highly irritable and I just kept snapping at my husband, poor guy! We stayed at my husband’s place for two days and I went over to my parent’s place to stay for two days before we would embark on the journey to my husband’s hometown where we would celebrate Eid. While at home, I told my mum how I was feeling and she told me to be calm and count the days I was overdue for (Lol she knew). She then called my husband and told him to not let me do any work when we arrived their hometown, that I needed lots of rest. I didn’t even know all of these.  We traveled and the road was really bad so my crankiness was still very much present. I kept feeling like I was flowing so when we arrived, I ran to check but there was nothing. Whew! Such an experience. I managed to go for Eid prayers and take pictures for the culture (You know how we do).

But immediately I returned, I ran into the room and tried to rest. I was crying at a point because I couldn’t understand what was happening. Something was happening to my body and I could not explain it. I didn’t know how the rams were slaughtered or who cooked what, I only know I was brought food to eat after the cooking was done. Thank God for an amazing and ever present family that I have in my husband’s people. They do the most for me. At a point, My FIL said we should go to a clinic because of how I was acting but I said No. I was already guessing what could be happening and I wasn’t really sure I was prepared to find out that way.  So, the whole of Sallah had me on the bed. Then on the day after Eid, I was informed that we had to go and greet people who attended the wedding ( ah I wanted to cry but I just had to go). So we set out early for this and I went to do a lot of kneeling down, at the end of this, my whole body was doubly aching and I was more assured that something was going on.

Anyways, the day ended and we had to return to Ibadan so I would prepare for my event. The journey was another story but I don’t want to bore anyone with the details. By the time we got home, I was feverish and extremely cranky, I started crying at a point and the next day looked almost impossible but I had about forty ladies registered for the event and I couldn’t imagine disappointing them. I still had to  monitor deliveries from vendors, make sure everything was set and even cook something, because everyone was supposed to bring a food item since it was a potluck. I snapped at my team members at a point (Apologies darlings, thanks for understanding). Babe helped with lots of things and made me sleep early so I would get enough rest for the next day. Before sleeping, I prayed to God that I wanted to be fine by morning although how I was feeling made it look almost impossible but I knew the kind of God I serve, He did it!. I wasn’t exactly feeling perfect when I woke the next day but I was definitely better than the previous day.  The cooking was done and we set out. The energy I exuded during the event was so much that I began to feel ‘normal’ again but from time to time, I still had that funny feeling. The event came and went and it was beautiful, Alhamdulilah.I   don’t know if anyone noticed anything off during the event but I was still as active as ever and we all had a nice time.

We then had to leave for Abuja (via Lagos) and that was the end of the holiday. We arrived Abuja, got a kit, waited for the next morning and ran a home test. I was too jittery to look at it so babe did the honours and told me there were two lines. The test was positive. We were pregnant. I mean, we would have a baby. Our own baby. Made with love. At the time Allah willed.  Which of His favours can we deny? Which of Allah’s numerous favours can we deny? I would have posted a video babe made at this period but I wasn’t fully dressed so I can’t. I really can’t describe the feeling and how I was acting, I didn’t know how to act. We decided to do a blood test for confirmation before informing anyone and then it just happened that babe got down with Malaria so we just had to visit the clinic. We both saw a doctor and while his malaria was confirmed, my Pregnancy was confirmed.  Drugs were prescribed for him while next steps to be taken were explained to me.  Alhamdulilah …….. �

THE PREGNANCY JOURNEY

Few days after this, I didn’t want to stay home so I decided to go and register at a coworking hub so I would run my business from there. I had told my husband that he would take me numerous pictures before I started showing so I could still carry on like there was nothing on my social media.  I din’t know God was looking at me like; lol. The first day I would resume at the hub, I was feeling so uncomfortable and I just kept sleeping at the breakout room. I did this for two days and I had to tell myself that it wouldn’t work. I had to stay home. Coincidentally, I had different job/business offers but I had to turn them down because I’d rather not take them than take them and not be productive enough. Thank God I made this decision because when all the symptoms hit me, they were massive! I started feeling really tired and feverish and tired again. for the first weeks, I was being thankful that I wasn’t throwing up despite all the other symptoms, I didn’t know I was just joking. The first time it happened, I was brushing my teeth when it hit me. I felt like my intestine would all come out in the open. That was the start of numerous vomittings to come. Mehn, those were some moments I do not want to remember. Then came the tummy ache, the body pain, everything. I grew so lean that babe became really scared. I could not do anything in the house, thank God for home tenders. My husband’s cousin then came from Lagos and she relieved us of a lot of stress. She made sure I ate well and that the house was well kept. My mum also had to take an urgent leave from work and she came to spend some time with us. They made me feel better and everyone kept saying the sickness would be gone at the end of the first trimester, I waited and waited for the trimester to pass and kept praying that it would indeed get better. ( I had heard gist that some people actually had to go through a rough time all through their pregnancy, regardless of what trimester they are in). Fortunately, I got better in the second trimester but I still wasn’t exactly fit to run things. Before the pregnancy, I had spent a lot of  money on a new collection and the plan was that I would sell them for Eid but because the tailor I worked with disappointed me, this could not happen so I had planned to sell them after I returned to Abuja before pregnancy also happened. What this meant was that I had clothes worth thousands of Naira in the house and there was no strength to market them or even dispatch if people decided to buy. I don’t want to go into details of Antenatal because as said earlier, I don’t want to bore you guys  but I have to confess that it was a pleasant experience as the hospital we used is a really standard one. They didn’t pay me for advert so I won’t be mentioning them. Lol that’s just a joke. The name of the hospital is Limi hospital here in Abuja and they are really good. They are a standard and up to date hospital and their staff are very warm and accommodating. The pregnancy was smooth until the beginning of the third trimester when I started having contractions. I initially thought they were Braxton Hicks but when they became really frequent, I had to go see my doctor. Babe dropped me at the clinic because he had to go to court, only for me to get there and be informed that I had to be on admission for observation because they didn’t want me to have a premature baby. Ah! I was so scared, I agreed to be admitted and informed babe, who in turn rushed down to the clinic where we both slept till morning.

We were there till the next evening before I was certified okay and discharged with plenty drugs. It was such an experience and on getting home, I kept calling my doctor to inform him of every little thing. Shout out to Doctor Kelvin, He was such an amazing doctor all through! We need more people like him. We decided that I go to  Ibadan to have the baby so I would be closer to the two families (They both live in Ibadan) so we booked my flight for 24th of February although April was when we were expecting. We didn’t want the travelling period to be too close to the birth period. I wasn’t looking forward to this at all as it meant I would be away from my husband for a while but I had to get going with the sacrifice and look at the bigger picture and reason for doing it.  Two weeks before I was supposed to travel, Elections were postponed in the country which meant that my travelling date had to be changed and it had to be earlier. I then had to fly on the 20th. sigh. On the day I traveled, I promised myself I would not cry but immediately my husband turned his back at the airport, the tears came freely. It was so bad that a man met me while I was walking to the terminal and he started admonishing me to endure and understand that I was going for something good. He even assumed my husband was staying in Abuja and I was staying somewhere else so I came to visit him. The man was really kind to me and he helped me all the way, sad that we didn’t exchange numbers so I would thank him properly. I had stayed too long with my husband so the flight was almost moving when I got to the plane,then another drama ensued as the head hostess said I was too far gone so they wouldn’t allow me to fly without a doctor’s report? I said ehn? what? Lol the tears were just flowing anyhow because my hormones were raging and there I was, being told that my pregnancy would prevent me from flying. After some back and forth, they agreed on the condition that I wasn’t lying about the number of weeks the pregnancy was. Whew! I got to Ibadan and my mum took me home. My in-laws kept coming to visit an everyone was treating me like a queen. You know how I regularly say that I have wonderful people around me, it was indeed beautiful. I then scheduled a maternity shoot and planned it with my friend who owns a spa : Society Glam house. We did that!

The yellow dress was a gift from my friend, Olabimpe, who owns whitecallaofficial and she really did this with the measurements I sent her. She sourced the fabric and created the exact style I sent her. Please reach out to her if you want something similar or other gorgeous outfits. The other outfits were from @beebeeem on Instagram while the scarves were from Hijabsbyaeesha who only needed to be told the colours and she came through with them in the exact shade. MAke up by Societyglam house, Pictures by Ladayo Bodunrin photography and direction by everyone , lol. Rodiyah also breezed in and she is responsible for those floor poses. �

LABOUR

I was given an EDD but my friend , Jumoke had already told me to expect the baby from 37 weeks. I started looking forward to having her in the 37th week but apparently mama was just laughing at me from inside. 38th and 39th week came, nothing! Then when it was three days to 4oth week, I started having some contractions and my doctor told me to get to the hospital right away (Oh Dr Suleiman, awesome individual! ). I can say Allah really blessed me with great doctors through this journey.  My mum had gone out few minutes back, I called her, told her the situation and she rushed back home (Hmnn, a whole post won’t be enough to appreciate this mother of mine).  She returned and we headed for the hospital. On getting there, I was examined and it was realized that I wasn’t dilated at all. I was then injected to verify if it was false labour or the real one and since I slept through it, it was ascertained that real labour had not started yet. I was told all these the next day and I was taken to the ward. Before this, one of the nurses told my mum( she is a nurse too), that my baby seemed really big and my mum said she also felt so. Mum then discussed with me and  reached out to the doctor in charge, telling him that we wouldn’t mind going for an elective CS. The doctor (A Prof.) then told my mum to hold on and sent different doctors to the ward to try talking me out of it, his reason being that there was no indication for a surgery and my height and everything were adequate for a vaginal delivery. I was then discharged to return the following week if labour had not commenced before then, he said by then, we could consider other options. I went home on Tuesday (the exact day I was forty weeks) and I was really impatient at that time, like darling baby, can you come already. That evening, I saw the mucus plug (show) and I got really excited, like finally! The next morning, I woke up and started walking briskly round the compound, I had been told it could make labour come on fast. I was doing plenty things at the same time as I was also in charge of my friend’s Asoebi sales and bridal shower. The clothes were getting to Ibadan on that day so I was monitoring its arrival. My mum helped to pick at the park and we sorted them together that evening. Around past ten, I started having contractions again but I didn’t want to raise any alarm so it wouldn’t be false like the last time. However, my mum noticed my discomfort and I had to explain how I was feeling to her. She asked me to monitor the frequency, which I did. I started jotting the interval it was coming on with my phone and when it was around past twelve, I noticed they were getting stronger and five minutes apart, I told mum this and she jumped up, informed my dad and we set out, with my husband’s cousin that I mentioned earlier, she had come from school two weeks back to stay with me. While going out, we realized that the neighborhood gate was closed, we honked and honked for a long time, we saw no one. My parents were getting worried at this time, like, what a wrong time to be locked in. We turned to go through the other gate and thankfully, the security guy opened fast enough. We arrived at the hospital around past one and went to the emergency, at this time, the contractions weren’t far apart but I was still forming hard babe. lol. I suddenly felt an urge to pee and I really wanted to bend and do that but the nurses stopped me, saying it could be the baby’s head trying to come out. We got to the labour ward and I wasn’t attended to on time because a woman was bleeding and they were sorting that (can’t tell this story because it isn’t mine). The contractions were still coming but I was gisting with my mum and husband’s cousin in between. I was feeling like it wasn’t so bad and I was fine. I was then examined by a nurse and I was 2cm. After the doctors got through with what they were doing, one of them came to me and said he wanted to examine me. I tried to tell him I had just been examined but he would have none of it. He did another examination and it was extremely painful (they call it cervical ripening ). I screamed so loud that my mum had to rush in. She wasn’t happy that this one was so painful when someone just examined me and I barely made a sound. I was then injected again, the same injection I got the last time. I was told that if it was false labour, I would sleep through it but it being real would not allow me to sleep. I didn’t sleep till morning and the contractions kept coming. When morning came (about four hours later), I was examined again and I was 3cm. Sigh. Women around me were progressing so fast and I just couldn’t grasp what was happening to me. I was examined again after four hours and it was about 3.5/4cm. The doctor then said he would raise oxytocin (which means I would be induced to hasten the labour). Brethren, this was when the real pain started! Ah, I saw things. I was holding it in at first and praying but when it really hit me, I was screaming loud. Saying : Ya Allah, have mercy on me. “Thumma sabillah yasarahu. Oh Allah, make this easy for me”. It got to a point, my husband’s cousin was weeping and they had to take her out. I was telling my mum how much I loved her. Mum was also at the verge of tears but she had to kick in professionalism, she would just turn away when it was too much. After I was induced, I was examined again and ?I was 5cm. I screamed whyyyyyy? So many women had come in after me and had left hours after with their babies, why was mine being so slow? The doctor then asked if my water broke yet and I said no then he said he would break it now, he then brought a scissors like equipment and did the breaking (they call it membrane sweeping). This pain, I can not describe but I didn’t even scream because the contractions were the most painful and I focused on that. After he broke the water, he called another doctor who confirmed that the water wasn’t clear, which was suggestive of the fact that baby had passed meconium (first poop) and that baby was in distress. When I heard this, I almost ran mad. I had read so much about babies getting tired and all that during labour so my mind was racing. The doctor then said they would watch for two hours and if I didn’t still progress, I would be sectioned. My mum was livid, like wait, you would still section her and we had to wait this long?LAbour for twenty four hours? after we initially requested for elective? wow. I told the doctor not to wait two hours not just because the pain was already unbearable but because I was already scared about the bay’s tiredness. I started screaming at them to take off the oxytocin and wheel me to the theatre. They were saying I should hold on, that I could get lucky and progress. Fam, this was almost twenty four hours after labour commenced. Sigh. I started speaking rapidly and telling them nothing must happen to my baby. It was at this point that they took the oxytocin off and told my mum to go buy things for the surgery. I was wheeled to the theater at some minutes past ten and I told my mum before entering that I wasn’t feeling the baby’e movement well. Mum told me not to say negative things and to keep praying, which I did. We got into the theater and I was injected on my spine (I was so calm, for someone who was in excruciating pain), and even the anesthesiologist  commended me for being so cooperative. In my mind, I was thinking; why won’t I be calm? I want my baby out, alive and healthy, I’d do anything at this point! After he was done, he asked me if I could lift my legs and I said I couldn’t. The surgery started shortly after this. Few minutes after, I heard my baby’s cry. A very loud cry and I wept! She was shown to me so I could identify her sex and I did. After the surgery was done, I thanked the doctors and one of them told me they should also be thanking me for insisting that the surgery commenced immediately because my baby was facing up and it would have been hard to deliver her vaginally. Baby came out weighing 3.65kg and she had her chord round her neck already 😊. Hmnn, just look at that!. Look at everything that could have gone wrong. I then started shaking and they said it was normal, I was wheeled out to the recovery room and I saw my mum, she hugged me from the bed and mehn, I was indeed grateful. I then said I wanted to speak to my husband (that one had been calling my mum non stop, lol). Mum said I was really shaking and he would barely hear me if I called him but I insisted. Although mum had informed him that baby was out, I still wanted to talk to him myself which I did: Babe, we have a baby! Which of Allah’s favours can we deny? I should stop here and not bore you with post operation recovery details, but I hope I have been detailed enough on how my pregnancy and labour story went. I pray that Allah grants safe delivery to all pregnant women and that He grants healthy children to those who are seeking. Amin. I am learning as the days go by and trying to be the best mum to our daughter. Please say a word of prayer for me, my baby, my husband and my family. May Allah grant you and I genuine happiness! I’ll be back.  OBA