Blog - February 22, 2018
Episode 4: Fiction 20. The Suicide Note
No! This cannot be. It’s not true. Jaleel could never hurt a fly, talk less of kill my parents. I refused to believe what this paper said, even though somewhere at the back of my mind I had doubts. Jaleel always told me he had done despicable things, things no one should ever hear about, but he never told me what those things were and I never bothered to ask, because in my eyes he could do no wrong, he was the most perfect man any woman could wish for.
I sat on the floor, in a pool of my own vomit and urine, with this dreadful paper in my hand, the air was beginning to have a horrible stench of blood mixed with body waste and as a result I could feel another bile rising in my throat. I turned to look at my husband’s lifeless body on the floor beside me, the man I had loved with everything in me, the man I thought was an angel sent from heaven was a murderer and he had a hand in the death of my parents, a wave of utter hatred surged through
me and filled the place where love for Jaleel once was.
I saw my father’s body lay still on the floor in place of Jaleel’s, his blood slowly spreading, blending with the scarlet red carpet of the dining room floor, I heard my mother scream right before the bullet went through her head, I remember waking up in the hospital to my grandmother’s face, my mother and father had been dead for two days, buried even, they didn’t let me see them. Despite what everyone said about Hadjia Hassanat, my mother, I loved her and I know she loved me too, she
was just a misunderstood woman who didn’t really have anyone except her loving
husband, like I did Jaleel, well…until now. I snapped out of my ugly reverie, I had
to do something about the dead body lying on the floor.
A suicide. Yes, I’d make it look like Jaleel committed suicide while I was out, quickly I wrote a note and placed it on the nightstand.
I’m ending my life today because I cannot bear to live with myself
anymore, I cannot live knowing that I am the cause of your terrible
condition, one of the things the doctor told me when I went to see him was
that your blackouts were as a result of a traumatic experience you might
have had and I know from when you told me how your parents died that I
was the one responsible for their death. I am truly sorry for the unspeakable
pain I have caused you in life, I believe loving you was a way of trying to
make up for what my wickedness has put you through. Please find a place in
your heart to forgive me, I hope our child lives and grows to be a loving,
kindhearted woman like you. Till we meet in paradise.
Your loving husband,
It was the perfect note, anyone would believe it, especially with the evidence I was going to leave. I cleaned up the mess I had made and created the perfect suicide scenario, with the knife in his own hand. I was going to redeem myself from this disaster, after all, it was all Jaleel’s fault he was dead.
The meeting had started over thirty minutes ago, and Jaleel was nowhere to be found. He was supposed to present his pitch to the board of directors today, he had told me he just needed to collect some important papers from his house and he was going to be back in twenty minutes, that was two hours ago, what kind of paper collection takes a whole two hours? The staff were tired of waiting, I personally was worried, Jaleel usually is very punctual with time. I tried calling but he wasn’t picking his phone. Ha! I hope he’s okay, with that his psycho wife that behaves somehow, I hope she hasn’t hurt my Jaleel in one of her blackout sessions. You see Jaleel and I are lovers, yes, lovers. We met when I started working in the same firm as him, it was love at first sight for me at least, so I didn’t care if he was married,luckily for me I got a position in the same department as him so getting him to fall for me was easy, I started talking with him and doing nice things like getting him lunch on days he didn’t eat before leaving his house and before you know it, he was falling for me like a pack of cards, he told me his secrets, family issues and even about his wife’s strange sickness and the fact that they couldn’t have a child.
It was now getting to three hours and Jaleel wasn’t back, so I decided to go to his house, damn the consequences. I got to his place and well enough, his car was parked there, he had to be home. The guard opened the gate and I asked for Jaleel.
“E dey inside”
“What about his wife?”
“I never see am today”
“Okay please, he’s my colleague and he was supposed to be at the office three hours ago, I’ve been calling and he’s not picking, can you help me check if he’s okay?”
The guard let me in and we went into the house, I called Jaleel’s name, no answer. Hian! What kind of wahala is this one now? Where is this man? I decided to check the bedroom so I asked the guard to come with me, he gave me funny look as if to
say “why I go follow you go oga bedroom”
“Come abeg! let’s look for somebody that I’ve been calling since”
He reluctantly led me to the room and opened the door, only to find Jaleel on the
floor with a knife in his hand, dead.
Written by Leslie Ozoaka . Visit her Blog