Blog - November 9, 2017
Day 9 : The November Happiness Challenge
Where did I stop?
Okay, the relationship I held so dear crashed like a pack of cards and it was devastating , to say the least. I drooled for a while and had myself go through some moments I would not want to delve into. The young man I met from the party the previous year was there for me during this moment and thankfully, he did not pressure me into anything. One would assume that he would jump at the opportunity and want to be an opportunist but No, he ddn’t. He just made himself readily available as a friend and that was the start of something beautiful.
He was studying in Law school at that time, as I mentioned earlier. So we did not even see each other, all our communications were via calls and text messages. ( Mehn we exchanged lots of messages). By the time he returned to Ibadan for a break , we were already as good as lovers because we were practically inseparable. He would come to my hostel and we would stay in all day or just hang out at the mall. With him, I ddn’t have particular demands on places I needed to be at even though he regularly asked me, I really just wanted to be around him.
We used to fight a lot though. We had different fights about the most petty of things. Looking back at it now, I think we were both just really growing and our emotions always got the better of us. He has his idea of perfection and I did too, we couldn’t exactly reach a meeting point for these needs and this created a lot of rancor from time to time. We would fight and hang up calls on each other and then start exchanging messages trying to see how the differences can be worked out. Lol. One thing however is, we made a promise and stuck by it : ‘We would never go to bed mad at each other no matter what, it just had to be talked through’. This helped a great deal.
Waliy did something at a time during our relationship and it is really unforgettable. I needed to change my phone because the one I had got spoilt and I needed to get another and stay online. I was reluctant to tell him about it because I understood that he really was a student at the time and his only source of income was his parents. I was not about to tell him to go ask his folks for money to buy his girlfriend a phone. I mean, why would I do that? I eventually mentioned it and told him I was already in the process of gathering money for it through my parents and my friend who was willing to assist with some funds. He said alright and it was obvious to me that he felt bad for not being able to do anything at that point.
The next day, he called me and told me to meet him at UI gate because he was not driving and needed to just see me briefly. When I saw him, he asked how much I had for the phone and how much I still needed. I told him and then he gave me the whole of the remaining . I said huh? No o, I am not going to receive this. Where did you get it? He said he stole it and that he wanted to share his loot with me. Lmao. He eventually told me that he got it from his dad as pocket money and he was willing to part with it because he understood I really needed to get a phone. He stressed that he would do fine without the money and would not kind drinking Garri. Ah, I refused vehemently but he would not have it, he insisted I took it and even said I had to get the phone on that day and show proof.
That story might seem random, but to me, it is very huge. I doubt he even still remembers because we are talking about some three years ago here. It is just to let ya all know how magnanimous he is. He does everything to make sure I am okay even to his own detriment. This is not a new thing, he has been like this from day 1 and his generosity is really heartwarming.
We kept having our back and forths and we established one fact: We were really in love with each other but we had a lot of growing to do. We knew we wanted to be with each other but we just kept having issues that could have been avoided. It could be because he was still in school trying to find a path and I was also in school, still getting familiar with the intricacies of adulthood. Another strain on the relationship was that I was quite eager to get married early and for obvious reasons, he was not ready. These issues altogether led to our breakup in November of 2014. The breakup came from me and I am not happy to say it (Lol I was really silly and childish). After I told him, he requested for a date and came to pick me at my hostel, took me to our favorite Icecream spot (Frosties at Bodija) and tried to make us talk about it. The talk ended up in a fight again and we both just decided to leave it at a breakup. It was a funny breakup because even after we officially cut it,we were still hanging out from time to time and telling each other everything.
Then I had to move to Lagos for work and he had to leave for another state for some stuff. It dawned on us at that time that the breakup seemed final and there was nothing we could do about it. We went our separate ways and each person moved on with life.
Today, we are going to give ourselves Pep talks. I do this all the time and it works for me. Tell yourself you are amazing, tell yourself you are an achiever. Find the most beautiful words and repeat them to yourself. Mention your handle on twitter or elsewhere and give yourself some kudos. Appreciate the wonder that you are and say a word of prayer for yourself. Fam, blow your own trumpet!. You know I’ll set a precedent so this is mine:
Omotolani, you are amazing and beautiful. You radiate happiness and you are a source of pride to everyone around you, Keep your head up and understand that you will overcome all the storms that life throws at you. Be kind and true to yourself and everyone,keep your faith in God and know that by His mercy, your beneficial desires will granted. You rock today, tomorrow and everytime. I love you!
This is me today, passing loads of good vibes your way and telling you that you are the best version of you, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
I’ll be back. BOS