Blog - November 4, 2017

Day 4 : The November Happiness Challenge

Hi Everyone. It’s a beautiful Saturday. Harmattan is upon us here already in Abuja. How is your Saturday going? Any Owambes or outings? I am thinking of going on a date today ( You already know with who). It’s been a while.

As a business owner who gets to source fabrics by herself and knows how tasking that can be, I admire what Zaynab Anifowoshe of of Z.O.B Fabrics is doing. She is more or less telling everyone to not bother leaving their homes to go through the stress of getting fabrics, she is offering herself to do all of that. And trust me, these fabrics are well laid! She deals in all kinds of fabrics such as Netlace, Silk, Vino, Cotton, e.t.c. She can be contacted via her Instagram page @z.o.b_ fabrics  or via Whatsapp : 07013716694.

She is giving out this beautiful fabric. So lush!

The blogger featured today is Hameedah Salaudeen of MeedahSoulFood. She runs a lifestyle and travel blog where she touches a little bit of everything, She also has this photography thing going on and her online pages are breathtaking! She structures her posts so well and you just want to linger on when you visit.

She writes:


Love is beautiful. Love is kind. Love is this and it is that too.. Eh eh, that’s how I fell in love.

I now know there’s a difference between falling in love and being in love. Head in, brains out. That’s how I think about it; or perhaps, that was my situation. WAS!

If you’re from a Nigerian home, you know by now the things you must hear from your parents and almost every adult in the family as you make your way to the university life.

Good grades starts from 100level, I didn’t send you to make friends, focus on your studies, don’t miss your lectures , there’s nothing like boyfriend and girlfriend ooooh. Blah, blah, blah. So were the words of my mother too and as the good child that I am; I listened to MOMMY.

I was on my own listening to mommy when I met this really fine guy. I was already in year two, so nothing was new in school. Issa big girl stuff. We started out as friends who obviously like each other. To be honest, I felt like I just met the man of my dreams, my husband. #joinmetolaugh!

A few weeks down and we were really close. I think we both knew we wanted more than friendship; a relationship aka I don grow.

We got talking and we almost couldn’t go a day without talking or maybe it was me. I couldn’t go a day without talking to him. I was in love. I fell in love people. How this happened, I had no idea but I loved it.

He wasn’t my tribe which made it all more beautiful. I love diversity so much; I always say there’s beauty in diversity. This guy was everything I claimed I wanted. The tribe I loved, same religion, he’s got the dream body, so calm yet funny and real good looking.

There were rumors in the school about him being really sought after but who cares, we were already friends and I know a lot about him than even i could imagine. In no time, we were in a “situationship”. You know when you aren’t in a relationship with someone but you’re too deep to be just friends? Yeah; that one.

I was young and happy. Who wouldn’t? It looked like I was getting all I wanted and that’s the best feeling. A few months down the line and our situationship got really deeper. But now I am confused; he doesn’t seem to be into me like he used to.

He won’t tell me important things and my calls were beginning to become a bore to him. He picked up when he felt like and ignored other and most of the times which made me tear up inside. I started feeling low.

This love is one sided or maybe so I thought. He was a final year student and as the usual saying; “you’re just for the time, he drops you when he leaves school” so I was told by my friend but I didn’t believe. I knew him more than she did, and even though he seemed not to know what he was doing, I could feel that he truly cares for me and I was ready to be patient.

Patience is a great thing but I was running out of it. I heard people talked about him being with other girls, he was already ignoring my calls and he even told me my call was getting too much.. Ah! We’ve become too close for me to throw away this friendship I thought.

But really, I was just in love with him. I couldn’t imagine us not being together but soon, I started having my worst days. He ditched me at a dinner, he won’t let me touch his phone, he kept me waiting for hours, lied to me about an incident and even said some other mean things to me..

I wanted to leave I swear, I really wanted to but I was trying to be hopeful. He was stressed with final year projects and exams are coming, so I decide to give him a break. It didn’t really help.

You could call me stupid or whatever; I truly think I was stupid. Stupidly in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. I still like to think I had reasons to stay.

It was an epileptic kind of love. He was happy and really sweet on some days and on other days, he was the opposite. I started feeling like an irritant. After all, I was just a year 2 student and he’ll move on from me in no time.

Defining a relationship is really important. So, after all the back and forth I decided to ask him the usual question ” what are we?” Lmaoooo! It was his football night so you can imagine the rest of the story. Long story short, we are nothing but pencil in the hands of the creator 😂😂😂

He was so rude to me that I cried myself to sleep. There was no girl power spirit in me then. I cried my eyes out and sent him a long ass message on whatsapp the next day.

Told the young man that I was out of his way and he could do whatever he wanted. I also told him to get out of my life; oh lord! I’m sure he would have been shocked not knowing what that was all about.

I blocked him off my WhatsApp and deleted his number that I already had crammed in my head. I started to give him attitude when I saw him in school. We never got to talk about it but it was the worst relationship of my life. It was sweet yet really sour.

I promised myself I wasn’t going to date any guy for a while which I did. I was badly hurt from an unrequited love. You can’t force anyone to love you…

Four years down the line and as much as I lied to myself that I’d gotten over him, i hadn’t and didn’t realize until a few months ago. I couldn’t fully love anyone anymore because a part of me was already missing. I became the careless one.

Fast forward to a few months ago, we talked and he asked why I started giving him attitude and turned into an overnight enemy.  I refreshed his memory about all that happened with us. It was no small talk and brought back a lot of memories and tears that I tried to shut down.

The fault isn’t his for not loving me and also isn’t mine for loving him. Even though we could have done things differently, at least we learnt from this. Oh well, he’d like to be in some sort of *******ship now and *******.

D  R  A  W  S.    C. U. R. T. A. I. N ! ! !

That night I realized I’ve been lying to myself about letting go. I never really let go and I really needed closure. I carried the burden for four years and in a night of tears and talk, I felt healed. I dropped all of it.

What burden are you carrying? What lie are you telling yourself? It is time to drop it off and be healed. The happiness and relief that comes after healing is worth it and I know this because I’ve been so happy since I dropped this burden.

No matter how light weight it is, drop it. It’s not yours to carry anymore; that’s why it’s the past. Let It Go!

True happiness comes from a burden free heart.

Look at her, smiling and sharing doses of happiness.

So Hameedah is basically telling us to let go today.! Whatever it is that you have carried on against someone for long, let it all go and feel your heart be at peace, feel the happiness buzz. What are you letting go of today? You know you can always share with us.

I’ll be back. BOS

Comments (25)

  1. November 4, 2017

    Awww, you did Mimi advert for me. Thank you so much. ❤❤❤

  2. Abdulhammed

    November 4, 2017

    Ohhh Hameedah, you just have to finish this, see as am glued to d end. Anyways thanks for the happiness dose shared.

  3. Shay

    November 4, 2017

    Unrequited love. Lmao. Been there, done that. Very similar to hers, only I never asked the almighty “what are we” question. Took forever to accept it was one sided, abruptly stopped talking and tried moving on on my own. Took years but I did it! Now, he’s deep in the brother zone 😂 Oh, and I found better ☺️☺️

    • November 4, 2017

      Oshay family zone. Lmao. Thank God you found better

    • November 5, 2017

      I meannnn, the zone is a cool place you know. Shay baby, thanks for reading.

  4. Vivian

    November 4, 2017

    Awwwww pls finish the story ooo am already all ears….but it has helped me now. Think i want to drop so many heavy things i hv in mind.. right now

    • November 4, 2017

      Please drop them sis. May your heart be filled with peace

    • November 5, 2017

      I’m so glad my truth could hell you find yours. Thank you for dropping by Vivian.

  5. Rahmart

    November 4, 2017

    please complete the story….I just left a 2yrs toxic relationship,letting go wasn’t easy but I’m getting better day by day

    • November 5, 2017

      That’s a huge step to take, I hope you go through it and get better as you do.. ❤❤

  6. F

    November 5, 2017

    Funny, but I let things go so easily. Like, I don’t even know how to hold things in AT ALL. Glad Hameedah’s closure healed her. Honestly, I think finding closure is overrated. There are times you go looking for closure, but you end up coming back with more pain because you couldn’t just handle the truth aka closure you were looking for.

    • November 5, 2017

      That’s a nice one, really. Very nice. I also share your sentiments about closure. Sometimes, closure just worsens the case , really.

    • November 5, 2017

      This is very true, I’m just glad it healed me. Thanks for reasing …

  7. Zeenat

    November 5, 2017

    I had this EX who hurt me so bad emotionally and I kept in mind for a really long time but Alhamdulilah I ve let go and i’m in a better place now..

    • November 5, 2017

      Alhamdulilah for battles overcome.

    • November 5, 2017

      Alhamdulillah, letting go is the plug to peace of mindddd..

  8. November 5, 2017

    I know this feeling! Unrequited love😢😢 but if it isn’t making you happy, let it go! It may be so hard to do but eventually you will…

    • November 5, 2017

      Letting go is really hard but its worth it. Thanks Debs baby.

  9. Ameerat

    November 5, 2017

    Letting go is not an easy task, but sometimes the best decision you’ll ever take. I’ve let go of my past hurts and mistakes, it made me a better person.

  10. Tolu

    November 5, 2017

    I know that feeling and I was once a victim… But it got better wen I let it go

  11. November 6, 2017

    Meedah my baby😍😍😍. Thank God you took after Me your mummy😋 and gave yourself brain. Lol, letting go is always a difficult thing do, we keep giving ourselves that little hope of no He/She will come around and all. When you fall in love the way common sense will leave you,you won’t even know.

  12. Desola

    November 6, 2017

    Letting go isn’t easy but once you make up your mind to do so, then just do it! I also learnt my lessons when I broke up with the first guy I dated, I loved him with my whole heart you know how a baby loves sweet yeah thats how the love was. But he left me cold and lonely lol finding closure didn’t help, until I scolded myslef one morning and strongly made up my mind to move on.

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