Blog - November 30, 2020

Day 30: The November Happiness Challenge 2020

Waliyullah: Friend, Supporter, Companion. You already know that the best had to be saved for the last day. So here we are on Day 30 of the November Happiness challenge 2020, and this day is dedicated to the man Allah has chosen for me as my husband, and partner in everything. I have been living my fantasy, because many of the things I always dreamed of regarding marriage are being actualized and manifested in my daily life. My heart is at peace knowing that I have someone with whom I’m sharing my wins and not so wins with, someone that I wake up to and sleep beside. Someone that I’m willing to go all the miles for, with the knowledge that he’d do same and more for me. Meeting Waliyullah was by fate, because how else would you describe the fact that I almost never attended the event where I met him. How would you describe the near misses that almost didn’t let us happen? And the back and forths that eventually led us to each other. There are many pointers to the fact that our meeting was destined and I’ll forever stay thankful to God for this. I tell everyone who cares to listen that I genuinely like my husband. I like him as a human being because he is so pure. He is that person who would make a thousand excuses for anyone even when the person is being obviously obtuse or unpleasant. He consciously sees the best in people and you won’t ever see him speak ill of others. His parents really did a thing with his upbringing and he made this show by being a good child too. Talk about kindness and empathy, he has those. I never worry about certain things because I know my husband would always choose kindness. I am that person who preaches kindness to everyone so imagine how pleased I am that God has blessed me with someone who shares similar values and our perspectives will mostly align about this. I talk about happy marriages and positivity a lot. And I always make sure to pray that everything I put out is a reflection of my actual reality, because I’m a sucker for love and healthy relationships, so how do I preach all of these without having a first hand experience? These prayers have been answered and I pray that they stay answered. No good marriage comes about through the work of just one person. I have never vibed with the idea that the woman makes the home or that she is the sole custodian of peace and making the home work, this is because I know that a good marriage requires work, and this work must come from both partners. One side cannot do everything while the other makes no effort, they could get overwhelmed and this could lead to pent up anger and resentment. Where is the happiness in that? At the same time , I always aknowledge that nobody can be forced to do right. No matter how vocal or strong or assertive and more you are, if the other person doesn’t see the good in doing right by you, you really cannot do much about it except you leave the situation. So I’ll never fail to admire and appreciate the role Waliyullah plays in making our marriage work. It is beautiful to see how he consciously betters himself and makes sure to listen to my views, how he doesn’t ever suppress my energy and ideas, how he does things to make life easier for me without prompt, and how he is always my number one cheerleader. You see, being admired and edged on by the one you love is top five beautiful things and it isn’t number 2 to 5. I totally recommend.

Being married to him has made my life better, and this is seen in every aspect of my life. I’m a better Muslim because he drives me to be better in the deen, I’m a better human because I emulate parts of his lifestyle and give excuses to people more now, I’m a better daughter because He is a family man and he steady encourages the fostering of community, I’m a better writer because He never fails to tell me how good I am and how I should try to write more, I’m better with all my projects because he supports financially and in every other way. How many do I want to say? Dearest Waliyullah, thank you for being my husband and for staying true to your goodness to me, thanks for showing me that love is peaceful, and for making marriage something that I cherish and enjoin. Thanks for all that you do for us, and for being the father figure in every way. I love you very much and I am glad to be doing life with you. May Allah grant your beneficial desires and may He make you even better than what people think of you. May He bless you with Halal wealth, good health and a very long life. May He make us better to each other and may our joy be lasting. Today, we will be reminiscing on the past days of the challenge, and we will be picking from the challenges we’ve had so far. We will decide to be intentional in making them a habit and sticking by them. You may not take everything, but please take as many as you can. Be conscious in attaining happiness with your everyday life, and don’t wait till certain occurrences come to be happy . You can find happiness right now where you are, even in the little things, and I hope this challenge has shown you that. Thank you so much for staying with me throughout this month, your comments and shares encouraged me to be consistent, and I truly appreciate you. I hope that God spares our lives till next November, so that we do this again. Thank you very much, God bless you. I’ll be back. OBA