Blog - November 28, 2019

Day 28 : The November Happiness Challenge 2019

Psychologies have defined happiness as having positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and  infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and anger. To add to the above definition, I will define happiness as a state of being sane and the tendency of being a little bit ‘insane’What do I mean by this? I know a lot of people might find this definition so weird. I realized overtime that when you are happy you are able to think straight without negative emotional distractions and at the same time when being too happy there is a tendency of making crazy or stupid decisions and this can ruin or destroy you. I know we all want to be happy, of course nobody wants to be sad. The opposite of being happy is being sad but the truth is no matter the situation you find yourself in life always choose to be happy, nobody can make you sad without your consent. I know there are some occurrences in life whereby sadness cannot be avoided but then how do we get over this? Do what you think brings you joy , think about the good things life has to offer you, don’t dwell too much on the past but focus on the present and what the future holds for you. Another thing I discovered is a lot of us do things to please other people at the expense of our own happiness. Hmmm I have once been guilty of this, I remember when I used to live my life just to please people, I displease myself just to please other people but the moment I realized people won’t do the same for me if it was the other way round, I made up my mind to start doing whatever makes me happy, you are the master of your own life, don’t let people control the decisions you make in your life especially if you think the decision you are making is what makes you happy or bring joy to you. Trust me, this same people crucifying you would do the same if they were in your shoes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying other people’s opinion is always wrong I’m only saying if you feel what they are saying is not going to fit into your plan or not going to make you happy then why do it? For instance, some parents frown at their children getting married to children with different religious backgrounds, I understand that sometimes opinions and views might be different but if both parties are fine with it, then why stop them? There are some decisions you make in life that you will be the only one to face the consequences be it positive or negative, do what makes you happy, date who makes you happy, go out and chill , read books, watch movies if that’s what makes you happy. Happiness lies from within, no matter how much people try to make you happy,  you can only make it happen with your consent. Now let me talk about few things I have changed about myself and has brought so much peace and happiness to me ; Firstly, I try to meet people with positive attitude, ie give a welcoming response when I meet new people , smile and be accommodating. This is because passing a negative vibe to someone you are meeting for the first time brings a positive vibe and makes the environment too tensed for warm gathering. Secondly, I try to share my burden. Mind you , do not share your problem with the wrong person, if you don’t trust your friends share with your siblings or parents, by letting this out, it brings some sort of relief, as it is often said, a problem shared is a problem solved. People die because of depression for refusing to share their problem and this makes them get depressed and start having thoughts of committing suicide, please let’s learn to share our problems you never can tell who could be of help. Thirdly, I will like to talk about relationship. I try to avoid friends getting too involved or making decisions in my relationship. There is something I tell people especially girls, do not allow friends to control your relationship. Although I know sometimes when we girls are in love we overlook the obvious, and we need other people to help us see what we are not seeing. When I say do not let your friends control your relationship, I mean do not allow friends to always make decisions for you every time when it comes to your relationship, it is not a joint venture, take advise and weigh those advise , if it’s going to be detrimental to you , do the needful,  if not do not take any advise that will ruin your relationship, if you love someone date them. I know some of us have the habit of trying to look for what is not when it comes to relationship and I know some friends that like to be too involved. Do not let people be too involved in your relationship, if it works , it works , if it doesn’t so be it never let people influence your decision. What works for A might not work for B , don’t let people use their past as examples for you, like I said when people bring advice to you , weigh it, filter what needs to be filtered and apply wisdom. Happiness is free, you can choose to be happy ? Live your life and do what brings you joy. That’s one of the secrets of living long. Connect with me on Instagram