Blog - November 23, 2019

Day 23 : The November Happiness Challenge

It was one of those days I just lay in my bed scrolling through my timeline, I spotted my flatmate post in her fire outfit with a big smile, her caption was cliche but expected ” Happiness is free ” she wrote!   I wanted to drop a comment but I held back, is happiness really free? The thoughts kept running through my mind…before you conclude on how sad I might be, let me tell you in advance that I am in a good place, happy yet still a work in progress.   Life has taught me so many lessons and one of the ones that has stayed with me for a long time is that it is very easy to be sad, however, when it comes to being happy one needs to be very intentional and protective. It is easy to look at another person’s life and feel unhappy, it is as easy as going through some person’s timeline on social media  to conclude you do not deserve the joy in your life.   Happiness is something you deliberate work towards feeling, it comes from understanding that you are doing all you can while working to do more. It goes beyond the feeling of contentment to acknowledging that you are deserving of good vibes and positivity.    Everyone needs to learn that despite the fact that there are those who seem to have things go better than us, there are also those who have it worse. It is not enough to overlook all the little wins, it is okay to celebrate them too. Life’s a journey, the movement is about moving from today to tomorrow. I know we are all used to speaking in present, past and future… these terms I have realized are just vague representation of our reality. Today, this present day was once in the future and by tomorrow, it will be in the past.   It is okay to prepare and work towards better days but we should also manage our expectations by not making it too high or low as this can cause anxiety, impostor syndrome and low self esteem which in turn robs us of our happiness. We should bear in mind that irrespective of any eventualities, we would be okay not because we do not feel disappointed but because it is only when the mind and head is in a good place that we can function and utilize our potentials to the maximum. Everyone deserves to be in a happy place and this doesn’t mean there won’t be sad times or  low days but how we manage it and live through it is all that matters.I could go on and on and write a million pages on why you should be happy but it wouldn’t mean anything if I do not share some few tips that I have adopted and works for me;  

1. Expel negative vibes: I can no longer stand negativity so I stay away from anyone, anything anywhere that kills my joy. I do not need to be reminded by things that makes me sad.
2. Embrace positivity: I know it might seem like I am repeating myself but somethings, we expel negativity and still don’t embrace positivity. Embracing positivity means intentionally associating yourself with anybody, anything and any place that brings you joy,encourages your growth and puts you in good physical and mental state.
3. Healthy Comparison: I know it is normal for us to compare ourselves with other people, in fact competition analysis is important if you are trying to do better and succeed. However, do not let it get into your head to the extent that you begin to doubt yourself and result to low self esteem. Move at your own pace and celebrate your wins.
4. Celebrate Others: I have learnt that celebrating others and being happy for them reduces the chances of feeling bad, instead of seeing them as doing better, one would use them as a motivation to do more and a flame of hope that if they can, you can too. It encourages a good relationship between you and them and that way there is a possibility to collaborate and do things together.
5. Don’t do it for validation: Happiness is not for show, allow yourself to feel deeply and express yourself. It doesn’t have to be everybody, find someone who genuinely cares about you and be open with them. There is no shame in seeking help, showing weakness and having low moments as long as you are constantly and deliberately working towards a positive and happy lifestyle.

  These are a few tips I have shared and theses doesn’t mean other methods don’t work, being happy is choosing a lifestyle that is daring and irrespective as long as it is true to you and best for your mental health. I have a happy place, in a physical location, things I do and in people’s company… find yours too!   Thank you Omotolani for the opportunity, you are making a difference… No caps! I will love to hear feedback and questions, so please drop comments.    Love, Light and Everything good, The Maryam Giwa (TMG).