Blog - November 18, 2022

Day 18: The November Happiness Challenge 2022

Compliments

Do you love Compliments? I do, and I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t. The degree to which we love it might differ because we aren’t the same people, but most times, compliments have a way of making people’s days better and I consider it a very good thing. As someone who gives and recieves compliments from time to time, I can boldly tell you that it does change people’s day from bad to good, and lifts their spirits fully. When I tell my daughter that she is amazing, or that she looks beautiful, or any such fancy thing, she’d grin so much and it always warms my heart. I have an abundance of compliments that I give, and I’m very proud to see my daughter easily give compliments too. She’d tell me how pretty my dress is, and how I smell good, and how her dad is so cute, et.c. then she’d proceed to give me a hug. There are very few things more beautiful than this, I tell you. Why do people find it hard to give compliments? There are many reasons but the most common is that some are scared of how the other person would accept it, another common one is that people say they aren’t good with words. Valid points, yes but I’d still implore us to find a way to compliment people. We don’t have to use big grammar or go all shakespearean, the smallest words can make the farthest impact, as long as we make our intentions pure and ensure that the words are genuine. A little ‘You look good’ that you say to your colleague at work could be what makes them have a productive day. It is that deep sometimes. Part of kindness is speaking good things and this is where Compliments fall into. You cannot hurt anyone by  sending good words their way, so why not do it? The most unpleasant thing I have seen regarding giving Compliments is how people say they don’t need to tell their partners or friends or family friends fancy things because they believe ‘they already know’. Please don’t do this, do not be one of those who do this beause it isn’t a pleasant thing at all. So what if your partner has been crowned Miss world or Mr Macho? What if the world constantly tells them how wonderful and brilliant they are ? They still need to hear it from you because you are their special person and you saying it makes a whole lot of difference. I hype my own people o, and if you are in my circle, you can testify to this. Growing so comfortable in having them that you forget to compliment them is not an act I’ll ever encourage. You are the blessed one who has an awesome person as a partner/friend, please revel in it and let them know as often as you can. When your partner sends you pictures of them, or they get dressed up and come to show themselves to you, it means  they are really excited to share their moments with you and you can do better than a dry ‘Nice’ or ‘Cute’. This is not the time for you to give one word responses or act like words are stuck in your throat, please say/type nice things to them, it costs absolutely nothing! While we are at this topic, I need to reiterate the importance of  avoiding backhanded compliments. Don’t push yourself to compliment people and then end up being one of those who pass compliments across in a derogatory or condescending manner. It is witchcraft to tell people some of these examples : You look fine today o.  (oh you mean they don’t look fine on other days or what) This your shoe is fine but would have been finer in white. (please buy white for yourself and keep your mouth shut) You sometimes sound brilliant. (lol you are an actual witch because what is this?) There are loads of these backhanded compliments and we recognize them when we see them. Keep quiet if you can’t be genuine and straightforward with your compliments, it isn’t compulsory. It is important to learn how to accept compliments too. Many of us grew up imbibing some faux humility where we find it hard to accept compliments or soak them in. When people tell you your hair is nice,you begin to stutter and then say, oh it isn’t that nice. Or they talk about your good grades and you begin to downtalk yourself just so they’d view you as a humble person. Please, today is the day you stop that, accept those compliments and grab them to your chest, you deserve it. I used to be that way too, people would talk about how wonderful I am and they’d applaud my hardwork and the many things I involve myself in which come out excellent, then I’d start talking about how it isn’t such a big deal and I don’t do so much. I am not that person anymoere, I am going to receive and internalize the compliments you give me because I think positively of people and I believe you are telling me the truth. There is this thing I do on my Instagram where I just respond to every Instagram story at a time that has pictures of the owner of the page, and I say something nice to them. So many times, people tell me how it brightens their day and how they haven’t received such compliments before. It makes me happy to see them smile, but also breaks my heart that nobody around them deems it fit to let them know of their awesomeness. Let us all do better, please. There are always things to compliment about people. It could be their appearance, or outfit, or attitude, or anything, really. The more you look to them with a positive mindset, the more you find it esasy to compliment them. Compliment someone genuinely today, you’d be happy you did. I’ll be back. OBA