Blog - November 18, 2019
Day 18 : The November Happiness Challenge 2019
I was approached by Tolani about sharing my side of happiness and what it truly means to me and I’m like, why not? This is a very interesting topic especially in the world we are today. As different individuals, definition of happiness differs, and this is dependent on how we perceive life. I wouldn’t mind sharing with you all what I define as happiness or rather, what genuinely makes me happy as a being.
I start every day of my life defining my main aim and purpose in life, knowing fully that if I deviate from them, my happiness will be jeopardised. However, I stay true to the realistic goals and I don’t go too hard on myself. How? By simply reassessing and adjusting whenever I see me deviating. I believe this is only normal and I am all human.
For these reasons, I have decided to put my existence into 2 categories, and they are
- Purpose in life (Primary)
- Goals (Secondary)
I decided to explore and do more of the things I loved. I do a lot for my kids, but I put aside time for myself as well. Before it was all about kids’ activities, kids party bla bla. At the end of the day I am tired and feeling exhausted and probably not even looking forward to the next day because obviously, the cycle continues.
I figured out things I loved (swimming, showing my fashion sides by taking pictures, spa dates, movies) and would just treat myself. I would tell myself I am the best and do not need any affirmation from anybody to tell me how awesome and fantastic I am as a mum for I realised sometimes we get disappointed when we expect people tell us somethings we wanted to hear at that particular time. Here is a picture I took below… Girl just wanna have fun
I also tell myself, its ok for some people not to like me. I will not live a life to please everyone. As far as what I do is in line with the preaching of my creator, walahi I am good. I am a hard-core loyalist who had been let down by friends in the past so I’m sure you understand what this truly means. I am always careful who to let in my circle.
FAMILY
This truly means a lot to me for those who know me are vary of this. I don’t not joke with this and I try my hardest to make sure I stay happy for them to be happy. I realised focusing on myself will reflect on my family. If I am not happy, how can I transfer this to a place I call home?
I make sure my goals (work and businesses) do not get in the way of my purpose in life. For family is priority for me. Prioritising this has really worked for me and my family. Knowing fully, I have a family who has got my back, who is functioning and is happy gives me so much joy and happiness. Like guys, I couldn’t just be happier (what more could I have asked for)…. Please manage this picture of my family. I can tell you this is the most decent I could possibly get lol
I ensure my family functions as it should with the help of Allah, effective communication, mutual respect and utmost patience. Catering to my family brings me so much happiness and I do with big grin on my face. Here I am making amala on a Sunday and the kids helping do the dishes even though I had to do the dishes all over again lol. All that matters are at least they helped.
Also, guys, contentment and acceptance are key. I remember when I had my 3rd daughter and we had friends and families come party with us, one of our friend’s child went to my daughter and said, oh your mum has a girl again, this child is not even 10 years old yet. Say about 8 or 9 years not sure.
My daughter obviously does not understand what the child was trying to say, the child further explained to my daughter, you know when you get married, you will change your name from you parents, since you are all girls. Who will then glorify your family name? Just imagine this coming from a child. Obviously, the parents must have discussed in the child’s presence, and my daughter responded by saying, I still do not understand you lol. Apparently, another friend of mine was there and she heard everything. She called them both and brought them to where we were and the child’s parent. She told them to explain themselves what they had been discussing, the child couldn’t. Obviously, the mum was looking at him. My daughter and other friend explained, and the mum was looking is disarray. Then my daughter said does it even matter mummy? Does that make me not your daughter anymore? Then I responded, it doesn’t matter my darling and she walked away feeling happy and unbothered…. Now guys that was it for me…. I couldn’t be happier. It would have turned out ugly and would have been extremely sad if my daughter was upset about the whole saga. Meet my precious daughters’ guys……Ma sha Allah. I took the pictures myself. The struggle was real but hey, we did it lol. I’m sure most of you can relate with the struggle of taking kids photos.
(Tanzeelah, Ibtihaaj & Ziyaanah)
What am I trying to say, contentment is key. I do not bother about this I have no utmost control over. I just let things be and I live my life with no regrets. What I learnt about contentment, I was able to pass to my daughter and she handled it well.
As far as my purposes in life are met and goals are achievable, I am the happiest on planet earth.
Being able to clarify my life into different categories has helped me see a clearer me. I can see and differentiate between my needs and necessities. I realised that if my primary categories are shaky or I’m not UpToDate with them, I am not a happy being, so I try as much as possible to make it work to the best of my ability.
I hope I have been able to express myself better to your understanding what I truly call happiness in my own terms.
Thank you Tolani for giving me this opportunity and counting me worthy. Keep using your platform for the good course darling.
Guys please do not forget to follow me as I share my life with you guys via my amazing pictures on my Instagram page
Thank you and God bless us all. May we all find that happiness we truly desire.
Abdulhammed
Amin, God bless you too. Talking the Great One always lifts the soul truly 👌
Olajumoke
There is an indescribable joy and peace that comes with talking to our creator. Thank you for highlighting this.
You have a beautiful family and your fashion sense is impeccable.
May God continually be good to you and yours.
Kaffy
There is no other peace than what we get when we completely trust ALLAH with everything. This truly depicts what you stand for. You left nothing out. Lots of love 😘.
Rahmart
our children are watching everything we do and say, reason why we must be careful. You have a beautiful family and your children names are beautiful too
Toyeen
Putting things into categories brings clarity.
*Purpose
*Goals
This makes so much sense. Thank you