Blog - November 10, 2022
Day 10: The November Happiness Challenge 2022
I was really eager to talk about this. You’d think I would get paid or something, but e get why. Beautiful communities excite me and I just can’t hide it. No matter your level or perspective to life, you need your own Community; which I’ll use interchangeably with Tribe in this write up.
No matter how much we berate the strategies our parents deployed to live life back in the day, the one thing which really stands out is how they were able to build different communities and how these communities in turn helped them to thrive. Starting from the Family units, our parents didn’t play with their associations. they had thrift communities who helped in sorting bills with a payment plan. There were social clubs who showed up and showed out for their own during events and when their member needed representation, the list goes on.
Even Parenting was more easily done because it truly took a village to raise a child. People didn’t really look the other way when it comes to kids, regardless of the existence of a biological relationship or not. Communal living was the order of the day and you could be sure to get a steaming bowl of Jollof rice if the neighbour three streets away was having an event. It was the normal thing to do.
Now, let’s talk about today. *inserts deep sigh*
How do we build viable communities when the order of the day is cutting people off and minding your business? Many of us don’t even say hello to the Neighbours next door, so how do we begin to expect Jollof or Small chops from one street away as was the order of the day? We derive pride and satisfaction in being aloof in the neighbourhoods we live in, and we don’t think there is a reason to even be cordial with people around us. How then do we begin to build communities or tribes?
I am here to tell you that Life cannot be done alone. You do not even have to be best friends or tribe members with every single person around you but it would be really nice to have a cordial relationship with them and know that you can approach each other for whatever if need be. This ‘western’lifestyle of minding your own and never mingling should be foreign to us, and we should remember that the advantages of communal living far outweigh the disadvantages.
Beyond the talk about our immediate environments (before I overflog it), it is imperative to state that you need to have your own people who you can run to, wine and dine with, echange ideas with and so much more. It could be just a group of four friends you have, or your School Alumni group, or your religious organization, et.c. There are numerous communities you could identify with for different reasons, and the great thing is that one doesn’t have to affect the other. These communities could be your safety net and more.
See, you need your own people o. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. People have created communities either physically or virtually where they build wealth, help themselves with important decisions and so on; why wouldn’t you want to be a part of that? What communities do is also remind you that you aren’t alone in whatever experience you might be going through, while providing succor.
I am a proud member of diferent communities, formally and informally and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I know what I get from these tribes and they are my go to for a lot of things. I am not called a people person for nothing, I live the talk. One of such communities is the safe space I created for women called MAGWO Safe space and we have been going strong since 2018. We have our physical gatherings and the virtual one is unshaken. This community has opened my eyes to the importance of having women spaces where conversations are unbarred and people can share esperiences without the fear of judgement. This doesn’t mean that we condone misdoings or wrong activities; what we do instead is correct with love and hold one another’s hands in this journey of life. We learn everyday, and also unlearn harmful practises. We share business and career oriented idead and encourage collaborations. We are honest with oen another and also very soft when need be. The many testimonials from people who have been a part of this space cannot be ignored because they keep letting me know how they have grown in all ramifications due to being a part of the tribe. It is very fulfiling to see, fam.
I also am a part of a religious community and how we all encourage one another to be better worshippers is worthy of emulation. We are there dropping gems on how best to practise the religion, how to train our kids through the right path and many other corrections that we initially weren’t aware of.
Your community doesn’t have to be formally created or structured like the aforementioned one , and you probably even already have one that root for you and vice versa. Please hold them close and do your best to contribute your quota in making it thrive. I won’t stop saying it, we need ourselves and nobody is an island.
What does Community mean to you? Do you have a community? How have they helped you? Share with us.
I’ll be back.+
Community is important. We are social beings. Even God created us for fellowship (with Him and with others). This idea of ‘minding your business’ is really not how God planned for us to relate. I belong to different communities; social, religious, business and each community has helped me greatly to become better at the things that I do. I think what chases people from communities is their inability to trust or be vulnerable as discussed yesterday. There’s also the fear of letting others see their weaknesses/ flaws. There’s also just disinterest in being in a space with many people (extremely introverted people are on this table). Whatever the reason, nobody can survive on their own…we all need that extra shoulder(s) to lean on.
Everything you said! We all truly need shoulders to lean on
Everyone needs a source of social connection and communities are the best way to achieve this. It’s an ingredient to a fulfilling life. Thanks for this piece O.B.A
You are welcome!
Community is life!!!! Hopefully this generation understands and sees its importance sooner rather than later. Like you said it can be a group of four friends navigating through this life together (through the ups and downs). Also like Ife said it might be the fear of vulnerability that holds some back.
You are right about this. Fear of vulnerability can be a really big deal.
Busari Titilayo Tawa
We are social beings and so need to interact with other people. We lean on each other in different situations. No one can do it alone. Community relationship help a lot in socialization .Nice write up Omotolanee
Thank you for always, mummy
It’s good to have people you discuss what bothers you with, share common interest together. Community really helps a lot, because their are some things you can’t do on your own.
I am grateful to be part of this community 💃 called (MAGWO safe space). I have learn a whole lots, unlearn and bond with amazing people. You a rare gem momma Tee 🥰.
I pray God almighty continue to strengthen you.
We are so glad to have you in our midst too, sis. Thank you for being vulnerable with us
This is a wake up call for me.
Sweet* write up Tee. ❤️
You are always welcome, mama
I used to be anti-community but joining one opened my eyes to the beauty of having a solid community.
So yes, having a community is key!
Community is indeed very key.
I used to take community for granted till I had my daughter. The fact l that I have no one to drop her with for an hour is more than heartbreaking. I am really praying that I meet people I can love and trust in the nearest future. Thank you for blessing us with your writing
See! I can imagine you staying in Lagos and how people would be readily available to hold her for you. Sorry baby
Like someone else pointed out, I became more inclined to joining and participating in communities after having kids. I’ve found it very helpful for supporting myself with parenting.
Oh Communities are so helpful with parenting. They make us know that we aren’t alone!
Community is very important. Thank you for this welcoming community it’s an eye opener. You write so beautifully.
Community is indeed very important. Thank you, love
Community is everything.
I don’t take my friends for granted. I hold them close to my heart and they help me get through the tough and good times.
My other community is MAGWO. Ah it’s a solid one. I appreciate every woman there. I have learnt, unlearned and relearned so many things there that have made me a better person. It’s a community I want to continue to be a part of for life
The importance of having a Community you identify with can never be overemphasized or talked about too much. Being a member of different communities over the years has helped me in a lot of ways and I know I’m a better person today because of them.