Blog - June 12, 2015
CHRONICLES OF A SIDE CHICK
Hello darlings. How are you and How is waka? ( Lol I just fell in love with this slang, it explains everything everyone does, the means to different ends). I came across this story on a sister’s instagram page (@aj0ke) yesterday and I knew I had to share it. I got across to her and requested her permission to publish which she gave instantly. Do read and let me know your opinions.
Everybody feels sorry for the main chick, the woman who is being cheated on, no one ever feels sorry for the woman that is being cheated with, the sidechick, cos it’s assumed that she’s fine with the situation of things just cos she knew about ‘her’ before she started dating ‘him’.
Hi, I’m Simisola and this is my story.
I met Bayo at a store. He came to see the manager, his friend, I came to introduce my business. I’m a 28 year old, dare I say, successful entrepreneur and I meet clients everywhere. My shop is the one single important thing in my life. It’s the only thing that makes me happy. I’ve dated men and failed, I’ve been cheated on, beaten, and gone through embarrassing moments all in the name of ‘finding the one’. I made a decision a long time ago that I didn’t need men anymore, I just wanna be successful, until…
Bayo heard me talking to the manager and said he really likes my spirit and likes the fact that I’m not trying to get a job like everyone else, clients can come from anywhere so I ignore his cockiness and kept smiling. Then he started gisting with me and I discovered he was actually nice to talk to, I subconsciously checked his left hand, no ring… then I think ‘no, what are you doing? We don’t care if he’s single, no more men’, then as if in response to my thoughts, an attendant came and said ‘oga, you didn’t come with your girlfriend today?’ And he replied, ‘no, she busy taking care of some things’. My heart sank a little, couldn’t a girl hope?. We continued our discussion and I assumed it was all business. It really was business though, maybe not the kind of business I thought.
He started calling frequently, even telling me when he’s going on a date with ‘her’. Then he started visiting often, dropping by the shop after work (even though it’s not on his way), taking me out to see a movie, hanging out with his friends…
One day, we were hanging out as usual, I saw him staring at me and was like what? He said I should dance with him, that is not the first time we danced, but this atmosphere was different, a slow song was playing… I didn’t want to feel awkward so I stood up and we danced, my heart kept jumping and I thought for the first time ‘how I wish he was mine’. Maybe if I had rephrased the wish to ‘how I wish he was only mine’, God would have made it different. Seconds after, he turned my head and kissed me, explosions came off in my head, fireworks and all that shebang, it felt like I had never been kissed before in my entire life. I thought ‘Simisola, he’s never gonna leave his girlfriend for you…’ but this feels so good.
The journey home was a very quiet one, very unusual. We got to my house and he parked his car and said ‘Simisola, I have grown to be very fond of you, I always look forward to seeing you, you are always in my thoughts, I might be starting to fall in love with you, I only wish I had met you before…’ and I said, ‘well, you didn’t and I can’t date a guy that has a girlfriend ever, I’ve been in the shoes of the girl being cheated on, I know what it feels like, I could never be responsible for making another girl feel that way’. He smiled and told me everything would be OK. We said our goodbyes, I could hardly sleep that night then a message came in at 2am from Bayo saying he couldn’t sleep either… that was how it started.
I started looking forward to the end of the day when I would see him, spend time with him… it was the absolute best feeling in the world, maybe not absolute because anytime I remember he’s going home to ‘her’, my heart sinks and I think ‘what are you doing?’.
Unfortunately, she had a course to take outside the country so she had to travel for 6 months.
From the day she left, we never spent a night apart, we were always together, always. He pampers me… and I actually believe that he loved me.
I was friends with all his friends and some of them would actually tell me, ‘I am rooting for you, I like you for my friend’ lol, guys right?
Just like that, 6 months was up, ‘she’ was back and the world started turning upside down.
First, there was no more seeing every day, it now became a once a week thing. When I complain, he tells me how terribly busy he’s been at work, I ask him what he’s doing now that he wasn’t doing before, then he said I’m turning into a nagging girlfriend! Oh shit! I never ever ever wanna be called that, so I shut up.
He claimed he doesn’t like BBM so only chats on WhatsApp, fine by me, until I was with him one day and saw him chatting with ‘her’ on BBM, I was like ‘oh!you have BBM now?’ He said he had to download it for a job, he’s going to delete it soon so he’s not really adding people on there. For the first time, I felt like a sidechick, the thief, the one responsible for the misery of another woman… he left a while after and I could think of nothing more, I insulted myself, talked sense to myself and decided I was gonna break it off.
Our next meeting was the next week so I was eager for that day, on the day, he called and said ‘she’ is taking him out on a surprise date so he wouldn’t be able to make it that week again, my heart sank deeper but I was happy that I now felt more need to break it off. I waited patiently.
On the ‘D’ day, I had already made up my mind, practised my speech in my head and decided on how stern I would act… if only I knew….
Lover boy came in with a dozen roses and many more, I didn’t care, today was the day. He gave me a hug, looked into my eyes and said ‘Simisola mi, I’m so sorry about last week, I tried getting out of it but it wasn’t just possible, I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I missed you so much. I love you’, I felt the strenght in me waver and in a voice way softer than I planned, way way softer, I said ‘I want to break up’ he smiled and kissed me…
It went on for 2 years, with me breaking up every month or so… I had someone yet felt so lonely most times. I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call my boyfriend at any time, I couldn’t see him whenever I wanted, hanging out was limited to some places and some circles of people. He couldn’t take a picture with me, or of me on his phone, gobe! ‘Her’ things are strewn all over his house, ‘she’ has half of his wardrobe…
I was in love with the man, I felt horrible for ‘her’ but I hated ‘her’ too, she had him.
One day, he called me and said he wanted to take me for a weekend cruise(this was not the first weekend we would hang out). It was the most fun filled weekend I ever had.
Instagram on Tuesday, one of his friends uploaded a picture of him proposing to ‘her’… yes, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere but I cried my heart out, I blamed myself for going into it in the first place…
He called, wanted to check up on me, he hopes I’m good. Yeah, I am. You are just like every ex now…
2 months after, introduction. 6 months, wedding and he actually sent me an invite. I didn’t go.
I still think about him, and I’m not really sure, till date, why or how I could go into that kind of relationship. Apart from the few stolen moments, it was hell.
And yet, some sidechicks become the main chick, how do they do that?
Hmnnmnm what do you guys think? Drop your comments. I’ll be back. BOS