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2019: The Year that I became more…

January 4, 2020

Last year, everything changed.

BECOMING A MOTHER

I went into last year excited and scared. Yes, you can be both. I Was about five months gone and my mind, head and soul felt like April was too long to come. I just wanted it to come, I wanted to have a safe birthing story, and I was ready to see my child.

In January, I had preterm contractions and my fear doubled. “No baby, don’t come yet. Yes, I am eager to see you but stay in and attain full maturity, Please”. We spent a day at the hospital and I was sent home with drugs to keep baby in. The prayers were unending. The fear was mounted there somewhere in my mind but I had hope, full hope that I’d come out of the journey happy, healthy and unscathed.

April came, Contractions came and Surgery followed. I had her. My 3.65kg beauty, with the fullest hair, cutest features and warmest smile, looking just like her dad. They really planned against me; those two. Then it dawned on me, I was an actual mother. The one to be called mummy, Umm, Mama, Nne. Ah, which of His mercies can I deny?

Read my Pregnancy and Labour story here

Then came the baby blues, lots of emotions flying round. Husband was away for work. My support system at the time had a medical emergency. Baby was crying a lot. I was having hallucinations. Surgery site wasn’t fully healed. I was confronted with a reality that I did not exactly prepare for; I wept! More times than one. Actually, I bawled a lot. That period did some things to me, made me grow twice than I normally would have, but I am thankful, for the greatest support system : My husband and his family, My parents and siblings, the friends who understood and stuck around, the strangers who didn’t have to, but still sent me messages to say : Omotolani, how are you?

 

You see, I owe you an actual post, or two, about my immediate post natal days. Maybe when I am able to describe everything I felt, just maybe.

 

MEET AND GREET WITH OMOTOLANIEE

In 2018, I had an event called Meet and Greet with Omotolaniee in Ibadan and it was successful. I planned to make it a continuous event in different places but it was at that time that I got pregnant so I couldn’t. After the baby, I was feeling energetic on  a particular day in July and decided to have another one in Abuja. I did a quick private call because I didn’t have power enough to handle a huge crowd. So, sixteen of us girls came together and had the nicest time. This was a win for me, a huge one.

In August, we had an event in Ibadan, a second one a year after. It was so beautiful and I was extremely proud of myself. Another win.

 

In December, it happened in Lagos. Many people supported and we pulled the largest crowd ever. Yes, a win again but who is counting?

These events birthed a virtual group which is called MAGWO Safe space and it is the most beautiful community of women trying to learn, be better and support one another.

 

LOVE

This year, Waliyullah and I fought a lot. You know those petty fights where you both immediately realize that it wasn’t needed? Yes, those. He kept being the bigger person (as he has always been), and I learnt a lot about being less stubborn, and understanding that a successful marriage needs me to put in work, as much as I can, because my partner can’t do all the work alone. I realized deeply that this marriage is the best thing in my life and I am going to guard it jealously forever. I chose my man over and over again because you see, Allah really created him just for me and He is a rare one. This year was the year He called me from the top of Mount Arafat to pray deeply for me (The highest romantic gesture ever, I hope to beat it and more). His deeply rooted involvement in the care for our baby girl makes me swoon, the way he caters to her, and doesn’t act like ‘it is a woman’s job’ when he cleans the poo, bathes her and dresses her fancy? I can go on and on. Thank you, husband, I believe you know that you are stuck with me for life.

 

CAREER

I did better with being a better team leader this year. I got campaigns I worked on and led a team to successfully pitch a brand. I got referred for gigs by people who believe so much in me and these are the factors that show me I am on the right path. I also tutored two interns and we are still working together, thriving. I started a page called Family tips where we share experiences on relationships. courting, marriage and parenting. I did all of these while mothering, so you see, you need to put plenty respect on my name! I’m actively searching for a 9-5 right now though, because you see, an organization deserves this greatness in their communications department, so if you have one for me, Holla.

 

FRIENDSHIP

I revived sour friendships, got new friends and closed the chapter of one or two friends in my life. I became more intentional about what I do for my friends and my expectations of them. I consciously  built my social capital and I dare say my social currency is more useful.I am thankful to all my friends and I appreciate them so much. You all make everything better.

 

2019 was beautiful, intriguing, full of lessons, sometimes tear filled, and all in all, a year to be thankful for! I am hopeful that this year is better, and that you and I will have lots of reasons to be genuinely happy.

It’s my birthday today, please say a prayer for me. I’ll be back. OBA.

 

Day 30: The November Happiness Challenge 2019

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37 Comments

  • Reply Moyosore January 4, 2020 at 7:36 am

    Baby F is so fine ❤️❤️😍😍🥰

  • Reply mariamharun January 4, 2020 at 7:43 am

    Happy happy birthday Omotolani, I’m so glad we met. Finally, I’m seeing baby F, she’s so cute and her smile is heartwarming. May Allah bless and keep you all, lots of love.

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:31 am

      So glad we met too darling. Thank you so much. Amin

  • Reply Zaynab Yusuf January 4, 2020 at 8:14 am

    This piece is so beautiful 😍.
    Baby F is sooooo cuuuttteeee 💞💞. I’m sure you know that.
    Happy birthday sis. Allah’s unending rahmah on you always

  • Reply Rhamaa January 4, 2020 at 8:15 am

    May goodness and mercy accompany you today and all the days of your beautiful life.
    May you know nothing but happiness from this day onward.
    May Almighty Allah protect and keep you. Have a very happy birthday❤️

  • Reply Temi January 4, 2020 at 8:38 am

    Baby F is sooo fine, Masha Allah! 😍May Allah bless her. Happy birthday mummy F 🥳

  • Reply Rabi Ayuba January 4, 2020 at 8:40 am

    Baby F is so adorable. That smile she had on the second picture is so beautiful.
    Happy birthday once again❤❤

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:30 am

      Thanks so much ❤️❤️❤️

  • Reply Dunni January 4, 2020 at 8:50 am

    Happy birthday …..Allah’s Rahma in abundance always..thanks for sharing your pregnancy journey, I’m 3 months in and I felt relieved after reading your story. Jazakhallahu khayr

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:29 am

      Aamin. Aww may Allah ease the process.

  • Reply Isaac January 4, 2020 at 8:52 am

    Happy birthday madam

  • Reply Beebah January 4, 2020 at 8:54 am

    Awwwwn. Happy birthday ma’am. We finally get to see baby F. May she continue to be the coolness of your eyes. May Allah keep you and your partner in love and grant all of your heart desires. Ameen

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:29 am

      Thanks so much my darling. Amin

  • Reply Abdulhammed January 4, 2020 at 8:56 am

    Alhamdulilah for everything, Baby F still has your smile tho. So beautiful I wish I already have a son, would have started bringing yams, fruits etc lol, as you age, may Allah’s rahma be sufficient for you always.

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:28 am

      Thanks so much bro. Hahaha😂😂. Amin

  • Reply Omobolanle January 4, 2020 at 9:11 am

    Omg baby F is so cute and a lot like her dad. May God grant you your heart desires this year and bless your family. Happy birthday

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:28 am

      Thanks so much darling ❤️❤️

  • Reply R January 4, 2020 at 9:25 am

    Happy Birthday amazing woman. May Allah be pleased with you. Fareedah is cute 🥰😍

  • Reply Toyeen January 4, 2020 at 10:09 am

    May Allah continue to guide and protect you and yours. I wish you so much joy and love. Happy birthday sis.

  • Reply Ibrahim rofiyat January 4, 2020 at 10:15 am

    Happy birthday to u sis live long and continue to prosper Allah’s endless blessings on u and ur family
    My regards to cute baby F

  • Reply Balikis January 4, 2020 at 12:27 pm

    May Allah continue to see to your affairs.. Love you

  • Reply Maimuunah January 4, 2020 at 1:53 pm

    First time seeing a picture of Baby F and i must say that she’s a Pretty one❤️Love this write up,it’s refreshing to read

  • Reply Eniola January 4, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    I am super proud of you babe. Happy Birthday Darling. Baby F is everything and more. 😍

  • Reply BB January 4, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    May Allah continue to increase you in knowledge, peace, good health and wealth. Baby F is really cute 😍😍

  • Reply Ameena January 4, 2020 at 4:09 pm

    Happy birthday Darling Sis, may Allah bless your new age.
    Baby F is super cute!!!. Pls permit me to marry her for my baby Arfan 🤣🤣🤣

    • Reply Tolani Busari January 5, 2020 at 6:25 am

      Amin my darling! Ah does Arfan have a Benz and plenty dollars? 😁😁😁😁

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