Last year, everything changed.
BECOMING A MOTHER
I went into last year excited and scared. Yes, you can be both. I Was about five months gone and my mind, head and soul felt like April was too long to come. I just wanted it to come, I wanted to have a safe birthing story, and I was ready to see my child.
In January, I had preterm contractions and my fear doubled. “No baby, don’t come yet. Yes, I am eager to see you but stay in and attain full maturity, Please”. We spent a day at the hospital and I was sent home with drugs to keep baby in. The prayers were unending. The fear was mounted there somewhere in my mind but I had hope, full hope that I’d come out of the journey happy, healthy and unscathed.
April came, Contractions came and Surgery followed. I had her. My 3.65kg beauty, with the fullest hair, cutest features and warmest smile, looking just like her dad. They really planned against me; those two. Then it dawned on me, I was an actual mother. The one to be called mummy, Umm, Mama, Nne. Ah, which of His mercies can I deny?
Then came the baby blues, lots of emotions flying round. Husband was away for work. My support system at the time had a medical emergency. Baby was crying a lot. I was having hallucinations. Surgery site wasn’t fully healed. I was confronted with a reality that I did not exactly prepare for; I wept! More times than one. Actually, I bawled a lot. That period did some things to me, made me grow twice than I normally would have, but I am thankful, for the greatest support system : My husband and his family, My parents and siblings, the friends who understood and stuck around, the strangers who didn’t have to, but still sent me messages to say : Omotolani, how are you?
You see, I owe you an actual post, or two, about my immediate post natal days. Maybe when I am able to describe everything I felt, just maybe.
MEET AND GREET WITH OMOTOLANIEE
In 2018, I had an event called Meet and Greet with Omotolaniee in Ibadan and it was successful. I planned to make it a continuous event in different places but it was at that time that I got pregnant so I couldn’t. After the baby, I was feeling energetic on a particular day in July and decided to have another one in Abuja. I did a quick private call because I didn’t have power enough to handle a huge crowd. So, sixteen of us girls came together and had the nicest time. This was a win for me, a huge one.
In August, we had an event in Ibadan, a second one a year after. It was so beautiful and I was extremely proud of myself. Another win.
In December, it happened in Lagos. Many people supported and we pulled the largest crowd ever. Yes, a win again but who is counting?
These events birthed a virtual group which is called MAGWO Safe space and it is the most beautiful community of women trying to learn, be better and support one another.
This year, Waliyullah and I fought a lot. You know those petty fights where you both immediately realize that it wasn’t needed? Yes, those. He kept being the bigger person (as he has always been), and I learnt a lot about being less stubborn, and understanding that a successful marriage needs me to put in work, as much as I can, because my partner can’t do all the work alone. I realized deeply that this marriage is the best thing in my life and I am going to guard it jealously forever. I chose my man over and over again because you see, Allah really created him just for me and He is a rare one. This year was the year He called me from the top of Mount Arafat to pray deeply for me (The highest romantic gesture ever, I hope to beat it and more). His deeply rooted involvement in the care for our baby girl makes me swoon, the way he caters to her, and doesn’t act like ‘it is a woman’s job’ when he cleans the poo, bathes her and dresses her fancy? I can go on and on. Thank you, husband, I believe you know that you are stuck with me for life.
I did better with being a better team leader this year. I got campaigns I worked on and led a team to successfully pitch a brand. I got referred for gigs by people who believe so much in me and these are the factors that show me I am on the right path. I also tutored two interns and we are still working together, thriving. I started a page called Family tips where we share experiences on relationships. courting, marriage and parenting. I did all of these while mothering, so you see, you need to put plenty respect on my name! I’m actively searching for a 9-5 right now though, because you see, an organization deserves this greatness in their communications department, so if you have one for me, Holla.
I revived sour friendships, got new friends and closed the chapter of one or two friends in my life. I became more intentional about what I do for my friends and my expectations of them. I consciously built my social capital and I dare say my social currency is more useful.I am thankful to all my friends and I appreciate them so much. You all make everything better.
2019 was beautiful, intriguing, full of lessons, sometimes tear filled, and all in all, a year to be thankful for! I am hopeful that this year is better, and that you and I will have lots of reasons to be genuinely happy.
It’s my birthday today, please say a prayer for me. I’ll be back. OBA.