Happiness means different things to different people. On a good day, I am a happy human as I try to find happiness in little things that matters. Prior to now, I have experienced sadness in its deepest form. I have had to deal with the most of mid-life crisis like being very broke, struggling so hard to impress people that cared less, being heartbroken, making other people who cared about me unhappy and being semi-homeless.
It’s being such a hard growing up but the most important thing is learning all sorts of lessons along the way and ensuring I do not allow all that define me. At some point, whenever I think about all these, I get so sad I do not want to come out for days.
After a while, I gave myself some pep talk and seek people who have had the worst from life and when I see how great they are doing, I told myself, “You have no excuse, Debs”. Yes, life is very hard and can be so demanding and depressing but as long as you live, you have the power to rewrite your own story.
Hence, I chose to rewrite my story and ensure it is the best version of me. You can read about a bit of my life via my non-fiction Fading Away on Okadabooks.
How I Manage my Happiness:
- I protect my personal space from toxic and negative energy. I can categorically say I have a lot of acquaintances but I can count my real friends on one hand. If you are someone whose energy or vibe drains me, I don’t care what you want to offer me, I stay far from you and won’t call you my friend.
- I travel. A lot of people will always ask me how I am able to afford travel or even manage it with my 9-5. But if something makes you happy, you will do it. I enjoy exploring new places and adventures and I try to plan for all my trips at the beginning of every year making it less tasking to embark on and afford.
- I laugh so hard. While life itself is so hard, I try to wear my happy countenance always. And one of the things that makes me happy is good food, friends and success. Success is relative but there’s no better joy than excelling in what you put your hands to do.
- I unwind. I am not your usual party girl who will go out at every invite they get but I totally know how to unwind and make myself happy. I am a semi-introvert and totally enjoy my own company so I learnt to unwind in my own way. Once I am stressed or overwhelmed, if I can afford it, I go for a spa session, change my looks, buy some bottles of non-alcoholic wine, and some take away food. And I hold a mini party in my room while binge watching my favorite series or reading a good book.
Other days, if I am up to it, I get to hang out with my friends and acquaintances while catching up on how we are all faring and how to become better people.
- I make others happy. It doesn’t have to be in form of money, but there are other gestures you can do for others that will genuinely make them happy. And when we have people around us happy, it has a way of casting happiness on us too. Hence, this has been my mantra so far and I try to make others around me happy either by giving them my time, advice or even personal items.
There’s so much you can do with life and people around you, find what makes you happy and irrespective of how sad you may be, try to find your happy formula and keep it.