This true story was sent in by someone who would prefer to be anonymous, we hope you learn a thing or two from it. Enjoy
TRYING TO CONCEIVE
I got married in June 2017 to a wonderful man. We simply wanted to fulfill the order of Allah because we had fallen in love with each other and didn’t want to be careless with our emotions.
We had the most simple Nikkah ever. I had just graduated from the University and was awaiting my mobilization for NYSC so I didn’t transition into a wife immediately.
A week after our Nikkah, my sister in-law also got married which made it a double celebration in my new family. I continued my life as a young girl in my father’s house and would only go to see my husband during weekends at his parent’s . We planned to move in together once I return from NYSC camp and start our lives together as a couple.
I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant anytime soon because well, we hadn’t even started living together and my husband wasn’t talking about it. Two months after our Nikkah, my sister in-law who got married few days after us called to inform us that she had taken in i.e She was pregnant. Wow! My husband exclaimed with so much excitement and I could feel the excitement in her words too.
I congratulated her and prayed for her to have a smooth pregnancy. After the call, I noticed that envy was creeping into my heart. I tried to fake so much smiles while talking with my husband and thinking of a way to excuse myself from that very situation. It was eventually time for Asr and I went out to pray. Right in the mosque, I begged Allah for the ability to be genuinely happy for her and to remove every inch of envy from my heart. That moment, I understood what it means to not be happy for the people you love. But you have to try. And try and keep on trying.
Few weeks after, my husband asked me a surprising question. He asked, have you been taking anything to prevent pregnancy? I acted like it didn’t bother me and replied “No I haven’t and to get pregnant is by Allah. ” He smiled and said to me “I would love to have my own Child, I want to see what he/she would look like. ” I smiled again but this time, I didn’t say anything.
That very month, I began praying to Allah to get pregnant too. You might be thinking, was it because my sister in-law got pregnant? Yes! It was actually because I could see the joy in my in-law’s face everytime I was with them. They wouldn’t stop talking about her and the joy in their heart. Her child would be their first grandchild so I totally understood their anticipation but it wasn’t easy on me.
I started to place so much pressure on myself, I didn’t want to look like the infertile one in the family . That month September, I made sure to read about getting pregnant and how to calculate fertile days. I stayed with my husband on those days and made sure we “tangled”.
Few days to my menstrual period, I started having all sorts of symptoms that I’ve never had before and because I was actually trying to get pregnant, I thought it had happened. Well No, I did not get pregnant. My period arrived and I felt bad. In fact, I visited a lab to run a blood test because I thought I had fell pregnant from all the symptoms I was having. Test came back negative.
It was just my first month of intentionally trying to conceive so I shaked it off. The following month as well , I did meet hubby on my fertile days and again, my period came. It was getting annoying so this time, I thought to myself “It’s time to move in with my husband.
November 2017, Hubby and I started preparing ourselves to move in together. We had gotten an apartment already and our furnitures were ready. We started buying all the things necessary. We also tried to have intercourse on my ovulation days in November because we wouldn’t give up. What a joy it would be moving into our apartment with baby in belly!
Fast forward to November 13th, I started having cramps and light bleeding but my period wasn’t due yet so I thought it was implantation bleeding (A light bleeding that occurs when a fertilized egg tries to implant itself in the uterus) I was getting excited somehow.
After many hours, the bleeding didn’t stop and now I was getting worried. It had now increased and the cramp was more intense. I took pain killer and it didn’t even work on me My God! I wasn’t understanding. The following day, it was the same thing and this time, I admitted to myself that my period had arrived although a bit early. The pain kept on increasing that I couldn’t walk or do anything. I wasn’t so surprised because I have always suffered painful menstruation.
On the 16th of November which was the 4th day of my menstrual Cycle, the pain became unbearable and my mum decided to take me to the hospital. On getting there, I was already disorganized. Couldn’t control myself, couldn’t bear the pain any longer. The doctor asked that I do a pelvic scan to know what’s up and we payed up for it.
I was taken into the scan room and the sonographer discovered I had PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). He said to me, “you have PID also known as Infection.” I asked him how serious it was and he said “don’t worry, you’ll be fine. ” I was taken out of the scan room to a patient ward. They started with infusions and all. I was in the hospital for three days and Jumia agents kept calling my phone because I ordered almost all my kitchen items from Jumia. Some even came to deliver to me in the hospital. Lol
The day I was discharged, my husband came to pick me up to our new house. We have kuku marry!
On getting to my new house, I forgot everything that had happened in the hospital . We were overwhelmed and had amazing time with each other. Our journey of trying to conceive continued.
Again, my period arrived in December but hubby assisted me to feel better by getting my pain killers and doing the cooking till I was fine. I would cry my eyes out once he was out of sight but form strong woman in his presence. My sister in-law’s pregnancy was now 5months old and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
January 2018, I missed my period for the first time ever. Oh Lord! I was so happy. I was having some pregnancy-like symptoms and thought this is it FINALLY. I had missed my period for 10 great days and decided to go buy pregnancy test strips. I lied to hubby that I wanted to buy some items at the food market and went straight to the pharmacy. I lied because I didn’t want him to be anxious…. What if I wasn’t pregnant? I wouldn’t let him go through such disappointment. I bought the strips and tested. IT WAS NEGATIVE!!!
I couldn’t believe it. so I wasn’t pregnant all this while? I ran out to the nearby lab to run a blood test and it was confirmed NEGATIVE. My God! That was the saddest moment of my life. I walked home crying while gently drying my tears because I didn’t want people to see me crying
I got home and went straight to bed. Unknown to me, hubby knew I had passed my period due date and was “jejely” praying for good news. He confronted me the next day and asked if my period had arrived. I said No It hasn’t but I am not pregnant. He asked why I was so sure I wasn’t pregnant. I couldn’t tell him I had run some tests and even did blood test so I smiled and replied “I just know I am not pregnant” He was looking at me like a happy child and said we would have to visit a clinic to know what’s up. So I changed my dress and we left for a clinic recommended by a family friend.
We arrived there and the doctor asked me to go in for a pelvic scan. Result came out that I still have Infection. I was so upset with myself, I cried so much. Infection delayed my period, not pregnancy. I was given antibiotics and asked to use them as instructed.I took the drugs and became more careful with my personal things and my sacred part. Although I knew I was quite hygienic…. I wasn’t understanding. I started reading up on recurring infection and how to deal with it. I searched Instagram for information on fertility too and discovered a lady that assists women with understanding their body and getting pregnant. I sent her a message and from there, we exchanged contacts and started talking on Whatsapp.
P.S I AM NOT TRYING TO PROMOTE ANYTHING HERE.
Maryam , the fertility expert also a gynea asked me to go for HVS and to take hubby for Semen Analysis. I talked to him about it and we agreed to do the tests. HVS is an uncomfortable procedure that involves taking a sample of the discharge in your cervix with a swab. I had no choice, I was going to do anything to get pregnant. Hubby submitted his semen sample and we awaited results in few days.
My result came out positive to STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS AND CANDIDA ALBICANS. Hubby’s result was out and we discovered he had LOW SPERM Count AND MOTILITY. He also tested positive to staph and candida. We sent the results via whatsapp to the fertility expert and she asked us to get certain antibiotics for treating the infection while abstaining from sex until we are done with the medications. After our last doses, she asked me to get her Uterine cleanse kit which included cleansing tonics and some detox teas. I got a pack and used the items for a month.
February 2018 came and left. In April, we decided to get Fertilaid Combination pack and some natural supplements for hubby to boost his semen quality . I also got the combo for women for myself . May 2018, my sister in-law was due. My mind was always with her and I would pray for her safe delivery. After spending so much on medications we still didn’t fall pregnant so I decided to use CLOMID. CLOMID is a drug that is used to force ovulation to occur and usually, it causes multiple pregnancy. After my period in May, I asked hubby to go and get CLOMID for me at the pharmacy which he did. 75% of women who take CLOMID falls pregnant at their first attempt but I didn’t. My period arrived in June.
My sister in-law had given birth and we had to travel to celebrate with her. She was such a sweet soul, she made me take care of her baby. She also had me by her side in everything she was doing. I felt great while with her. That night, when hubby and I returned to our hotel room, I prayed to Allah to grant me such happiness considering the fact that I would never get up from my Prayer without praying for her to deliver safely while she was pregnant.
I started following fertility pages on Instagram and downloaded several ebooks on How to get pregnant. In June, I got pregnacare conception and Wellman for hubby. I took charge and would make sure he used them daily. Had my period in July but I had accepted that Allah’s timing is the best. After my period, I asked hubby to go and do a repeat semen analysis and guess what? The numbers had reduced drastically. All hopes shattered! My husband cried.
I had to be strong for him. Kept telling him it would be fine. That night, I Googled about fertility foods. Foods that enhances fertility. Since the medications were not helping, I thought to do something different. TO MAKE SOME LIFESTYLE CHANGES. I wrote down so many information I came across online about Healthy eating, castor therapy, fertility exercises and natural supplements.
P.S I AM WILLING TO ASSIST ANYONE WHO IS EXPERIENCING INFERTILITY WITH DETAILS ON HOW TO GO ABOUT THESE THINGS AND A SAMPLE OF OUR MEAL PLAN.
Early August, we started eating differently. I incorporated smoothies in our daily plan and added lots of vegetables too. We stopped all forms of refined sugar and would only eat complex carbs.
We had spinach juice, pumpkin juice and stopped meat totally. That same month, we had lots of TITUS fish and added plenty tomatoes in our stew. I read that for proper functioning of the reproductive organs, we need good amount of Omega 3 fats so I got an Omega 3 fish oil supplement and started taking it. My husband continued with his wellman and zinc tablets. On 18th of August, I was lying in bed reading some information on fertility when I noticed some discomfort in my breasts. I ignored it and continued with Google.
Some minutes after, I started feeling hot and uncomfortable. I calculated my cycle and it was just 6 days to my next period. I decided to take a test. I took out a strip from my drawer and went into the bathroom. Meanwhile my husband was busy with laundry….. I came out of the bathroom to check the result on the strip and to my utmost surprise, THERE WERE TWO LINES.
I screamed with so much surprise but my husband didn’t hear me. I went down in sujood to thank Allah. That day reminds me so much of how happy my husband can be. When I called him to come inside, I showed him the strip and he asked me to take another test. We took almost ten tests trying to make sure none of the strip was faulty.
Alhamdulilahi WE WERE PREGNANT.
I ran back in bed and this time, wrapped myself up and slept like a newborn. The next morning, we went in for a blood test and it came back positive. My husband informed our parents about our pregnancy and everyone started calling to congratulate us. I was so fulfilled!
5 weeks into pregnancy, I started feeling all the things. My 1st trimester wasn’t a nice experience and every time I tried to complain, hubby was there to remind me to be grateful. Well, I was but the symptoms were really frustrating . I didn’t enter my kitchen for 3 months. My husband did all the cooking and sometimes feeding. Most of the time, I would throw up after eating.
I was offered so many things to help with my nausea. From bitter kola, Nutri-C to lollipop.
Read somewhere that bitter kola contains caffeine and could cause miscarriage in the first trimester. I stopped taking it. Lolly pop worked for me though lol. Can’t count how many pack I had! I also couldn’t take my vitamins daily because it irritated me. When I reached my second trimester, it was the other way round. I was so well and had strength to do the house chores. I also stopped throwing up after meals
In my 17th week of pregnancy, I felt my baby’s movement for the first time . It was uncomfortable at first as I thought “how would something be moving inside somebody’s body like this” but I got used to it. It was third trimester and I had packed my delivery bag. I felt so heavy and just wanted to have my baby girl. At 38 weeks, I was becoming uncomfortable. My baby had dropped low since 34weeks and could come anytime
My doctor asked if I would like to wait till 41weeks. According to him, I had no complications and baby can do fine till next few weeks so we don’t have to be worried. At 39 weeks, I started my research on how to induce labor naturally. I didn’t want to go overdue so I had to try something
I saw so many things people talked about. Castor oil, sex, spicy foods, long walks etc. I chose to do long walk every morning
At 39weeks and 3 days, I attended antenatal. The doctor asked for any complaint and I simply said I WAS TIRED AND COULDN’T GO ON WITH MY PREGNANCY. How Impatient!
She asked if to go ahead with artificial induction and I said Yes. She advised me to go home and wait another one week perhaps baby would come in a few days. According to her, labor is less pain when it comes naturally. Ah! Okay o. I left. The next day was my birthday but I didn’t have enough energy for the paparazzi. However, hubby had organized a shoot for me at noon so we had to go for it.
When we returned home, I was so tired and just fell in bed and straight to sleep . Woke up at 1am and felt something like menstrual pain coming and going. My mum had told me that menstrual pain is also a sign of labor so I took my phone and checked the minutes apart. It was 10 minutes. Oluwa o, 10 minutes is not bad sha but I decided to sleep and see what happens by morning.
At 7am, I got up and went into the bathroom to clean up. I noticed some discharge and wiped. It was my mucus plug! Eeew I ran out to call my husband and showed him the discharge. He confirmed it was my mucus plug and we left for the hospital.We arrived at the hospital and I checked in. The doctor asked a midwife to do a vagina examination on me, That thing was so painful I screamed.
I was at 2cm. Was admitted at 12pm on Saturday and my husband was asked to go and bring my bag.My contractions weren’t so strong so I wasn’t dilating fast. At 4pm, I was at 3cm. “How would I reach 10 this way?” I thought.The doctor asked me to make sure I sleep well because if I don’t dilate well enough by morning, I would be induced. My heart started racing fast. I had read so much about induction and even read the experience of other women.
Sunday morning arrived and a midwife brought a very tiny tablet. She explained to me that the tablet would assist me to fall into labor proper and I have to be determined to be strong.
Well, I had no choice so I asked her to go ahead. An hour after inserting the tablet into my vagina, I was feeling nothing serious . I asked the doctor if that tablet was effective, he laughed and said “you go soon know”
At 10am, I started feeling the contractions 5 minutes apart and it had now become painful . Extremely painful. My husband stayed by my side and held my hands while I squeeze them when in contraction. The midwives kept checking me and at 12pm, I was 5cm dilated. I started screaming on the top of my voice and would ask hubby to shut up each time he tried to say sorry. Lol
At 2pm, I was 6cm dilated and my doctor decided he would break my water very soon. The pain was so strong now but I had a stronger support system. The midwives would come around to pray for me and encourage me to keep being strong. The fact that I had not tore anyone’s clothes or pushed my hubby out showed I was doing well haha
At 4pm, I was 7cm dilated and my doctor came in to break my water. The pain after that procedure is indescribable. Although it helped to speed up my dilation. At 5pm, I was at the great 10cm.
Okay I was taken to the labor room for the second stage (pushing). I wanted to start pushing but I was told not to. My contractions had gotten weak and everyone was bothered. I needed that contraction to push baby out but I wasn’t contracting hard. Oxytocin was set up to give me some strong contractions but it didn’t work. It was doubled and still didn’t work. My husband stood outside the door and could hear some nurses talking about Ceasarian section as the way out. My husband busted into tears because if I would end up being operated on, I should not have gone through all that labor pain at all
It was 6:20pm and the doctors decided they would use a vacuum to assist the delivery. I was cut in several parts of my vagina. The vacuum was inserted into me and the doctor kept pressing the ball.
Some seconds after, I could feel a bulge inside my vagina and I used all my strength to push it out. It was my baby!!!
She came out weighing 3.5kg looking just like her father. I was already in tears as the placenta was delivered. My husband ran inside the labor room and hugged me from behind
It was a perfect moment in my life.
Hubby called his mother and she rushed down with plenty food for Me, my hubby, the nurses and even the doctors.
Alhamdulilah for everything.
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I’ll be back. OBA