Attaining the Silver Age…

February 16, 2016

25 came with a lot of self awareness.

You know, I’ve always been that little girl. That girl who is the youngest in her class, that girl who is the smallest in a group, that girl who had everything fast, That girl who needn’t care about being too old for certain jobs because she had ‘age on her side’, That girl who a lot of people wanted to be like because they felt she was so young and had a lot going for her already. (Really tho?)

I cannot explain how I have felt in the past years living life with this perspective of how other people think highly of my supposed young age. I have not been exactly elated about it, neither have I considered it a reason to be sad. I have just been indifferent in a way because I did see myself as older than some and younger than some. I felt good sometimes and the other way, other times.

I’ve heard people refer to me as that ‘small girl’ over the years. I’ve had people throw it in my face that I couldn’t talk to them in certain ways because they were way above me in age. My physique hasn’t helped either.  It has brought people my way to make enquiries about a 100 level course when I was actually studying for my masters degree. (LOL this was a funny occurence, I’d talk about it some time).  Some one swore I was barely twenty last year when I was actually 24. It took me a lot of self restraint to give him a knock on the head.

Away from the preamble. Guys, I’m 25 now!

Since last year when I was 24, I found myself asking a lot of questions. Giving myself many mental lectures. Going from 0 to 100 and back again. Seeking answers to questions that I had pushed to a far corner in my mind for a long time. I got very aware of myself, of my age , of expectations and of things I thought would be perfect, or almost perfect, by now. I became sensitive, to my surroundings , Work and a host of others. I cannot say I started feeling like an adult, because sincerely? I believe I’ve been feeling like an aduItand making aduItdecisions for a while now, so I’m good with the aduItthing.

I think more of major decisions now. I’m enthusiastic about engaging in meaningful projects and affiliations that actually bring a difference. I think of my career, my job, in more ways than one. I question myself from time to time on whether I am doing what I should be doing or just going with the flow. Sometimes, I feel like it’s the latter, other times, the former comes through.

Now I want to do more. Now, I’m more reactive to everything. Now, I’m touchy about more discussions than I would have wanted. I still smile, like I always do but the reasons no longer run as deep.  I have no wish to meet more people anymore, This particular one is strange, I used to always want more friends, encourage more networking, participate in meetups.

I see myself making plans to go out and hang with friends or do movies with selected ones but I end up picking Sleep as the winner and embracing my pillow,  this brings me peace, so much joy, . I like Twitter too, it gives me a chance to rant and jump from one topic to the other without rules of context disturbing me. I just need my phone charged and my bed soft. This feeling is beautiful to me.

Some very close friends have complained I’m aloof. That’s such a strong word, I don’t see myself as aloof neither do I see myself as distant but they think I am, Is this the truth? Am I shrinking? I don’t want to shrink. At the risk of sounding like a human on the path to depression, I’d like to express the fact that I think I’m getting more into myself than anybody else. You call it Narcissism, is that it?

I just want to know, is this normal? Is this a ’25’ thing or am  I just a different specie? I want to know if it’s wrong to withdraw into one’s shell. I’d like to figure out if there is something I’m not doing well enough, or doing too much.  I seek betterment in my affairs. Religion, relationships, acquaintances and lots more.

I don’t exactly know what this post is meant to do.  I just found myself writing. It’s February and there has been no post this year. I know I promised consistency, I’m sorry. That seems so far from reach (Is that also a 25 thing? )

I pray we all find reasons to be happy, to be genuinely happy….

I’ll be back. BOS






The Costly choice
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  • Reply Benjamin February 16, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    LOL. Well, 25 looks good on you. I loved your analogies. Beautiful writ.

  • Reply Patty February 16, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    …well, I’ll be 25 this year
    I can relate with this piece,you have it better tho, trust me

    I feel so old already

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 1:24 pm

      Aww. I sure have lots of people who we think and reason alike. Don’t worry darling, It will be beautiful

  • Reply Haleemah February 16, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    You see, I don’t even know if this is normal. By God’s grace I might come back here by the end of the year to let you know if this is a 25 thing or you a just different specie. Until then enjoy the good stuffs the silver Jubilee year has to offer.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      Thanks darling. I really am waiting for you to come and tell me. I need to know these things!

  • Reply leema February 16, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    Yea!!!💃💃💃Happy birthday sweetheart. So we are age mate😆😆 that makes us twins👭*lol. I can relate dear. At a point in life you just wanna do yourself you knw. If it makes u happy baby ride on! . For me this is actually the time am trying to come out of my shell and have some more fun. At a point in life if things ain’t working as we want we tend to lash back at ourselves and restrain from things that makes us happy. Babe it’s not a 25 years thing not to do what u love doing BUH you,you and you alone. What matters here is you. If u feel happy being into yourself alone, fine buh if not go out there and have some fun. I wish u betterment in all your affairs sweetie😘😘😘😚😘😚.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      Thanks so much Halima! You are an absolutely wonderful person and I really cannot wait to meet you and spend quality time talking about loads of things. May Allah be pleased with you dear

  • Reply Missy February 16, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Yes… I think I see plenty of these qualities in myself too …. Silver jubilee thingy. Oh well. Life suddenly got more serious like bam! Welcome welcome to the real you. …. The most important things Naw seem to matter the most. Funny if am to prioritise my career will come before my relationship. I think dahz also a 25 thing. Oh well. Am loving it Lol @the sleep thingy. Ur so right about that. I like.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 3:05 pm

      We are twinnies, arent we?

  • Reply Missy February 16, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Plus Happy Birthday baby. Someone told me the more you get older the more you have to keep telling yourself ur younger and don’t let ur age define you to make irrational decisions with your life

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 3:05 pm

      Thank you darling. I sure would hold on to that

  • Reply Atoaan L. Ollor February 16, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    Beautifully written, as always. Omotolani, You have a way with words that transcends anything petty. I think that when you look at the negativities of the “Almighty 25”, you should also consider the positivity that lies therein. The silver age is one of great Expectations; And I know this because i was there five years ago… But notwithstanding, you must always be forward-looking. Time goes by so fast, so do not get carried away. Live in the moment, but plan for the future. Your whole life is ahead of you, but until You realize the potential in a single moment, you will not be able to have the courage to take advantage of the many moments that lie ahead of you. In Spanish they say, “Sea agradecido por este momento. Este momento es tu vida.” That’s what i’m saying to you now: “Be Happy For This Moment. This Moment Is Your Life!”

    • Reply omotolaniee February 16, 2016 at 3:33 pm

      Wow! Atoaan. You know, I am forever thankful to God for freidns like you who take time out to always make me feel amazing about myself. I’m proud of you, you know, You are such a go getter and I would never trade you for anything. Thak you again, My wonderful friend.

      • Reply Atoaan L. Ollor February 16, 2016 at 3:43 pm

        You’re welcome my dear Omotolani. Your friendship Is Such A Gift!

  • Reply MrJayCouture February 16, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Wooow! I don’t even know what is expected of me to say on this, but then……

    While I was reading, I discovered most of these things started with me some months before my 25; I became a lone ranger, I was all about myself and my ‘job’, even worse still, family wasn’t really getting me enthusiastic anymore, but it was still one of the very few I held on to; anything general just stopped being my thing, I’d rather stay in door, punch my phone and play PES2011. I’m 26+ now, and I’m stil like that…..enough said.

    Darling, you just may be right. Follow whatever way your instinct taking you. It’s just best to do whatever pleases one, ’cause, more often than not, one never regrets it, rather than do what pleases others, but then, more often than not, ever regret it.

    Your writing prowess….its a 100. I envy that so much.

    Go, my lady, and keep being amazing.

    Forever glad to be your friend.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 17, 2016 at 7:03 am

      Mr Jay Couture! Just so you know, you inspire me. I make you a point of reference anytime I talk about how I dropped out of Fashion School and you made it through. lol. God bless you dear

  • Reply bukkyp February 16, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Pele aburo… It be Lai that sometimes ok ?

    • Reply omotolaniee February 17, 2016 at 7:02 am

      Lol Bukky you are my big sis because of how many months? okay continue

  • Reply Annie Rukkie February 16, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    Ma sha Allah, Nice write up I must say…with this age comes crystal clear reality! Cos mentioning that age anywhere will give u the ‘you are not a baby anymore look’. The society,family wants more,every stage of life is now demanding…
    Bracing up to such reality can be a little bit looking untrue, but then…. Age is not decreasing,and it’s time to achieve more and set one’s priorities in life so straight that even peer pressure can’t change in a negative way.

    Baarakallahu fihi!

    • Reply omotolaniee February 17, 2016 at 7:01 am

      Thank you sis. You got it all right! Amin and I wish you the same

  • Reply M February 17, 2016 at 7:19 am

    I totally relate to this but how you put all of this into one piece is amazing. I guess it’s just the human brain developing as it ages and sometimes i want to do anything to go back to being a teenager but most times i’d rather remain an aduItand enjoy all of its perks. Keep it up.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 17, 2016 at 7:22 am

      This means I’m not alone. Wow! I miss the teenage years too, AduIthood seemed so far away but look at us now. Lol. God bless you darling

  • Reply Aeesha_Lawal February 17, 2016 at 9:13 am

    Bravo baby! @least someone came out with it, wonderful write up I must say, I can totally relate and for some moment there I felt like I was reading from myself.
    Thing is this age is just so sensitive mehn… I remember when we were celebrating being a teenager… and then adulthood @ 21, but this 25 I feel is the beginning of a heavy load to bear, and then it’s not just abt u anymore… especially in this part where parents believe as a female child, u shudnt just chase career so u dont forget abt settling down, the big Marriage talk(the guys are covered)i remember my mum telling me when i was 22 that she got married @ my age when i just completed my NYSC, and i was like how abt geting a job/masters degree, almost done with the degree now, i still feel young all thanks to our tiny stature LOL… wud be 25 in few months u can imagine what they wud be saying now, I wonder wah my excuse wud be *covers face… because after this age comes the late twenties, thats another feeling, but then u think abt the achivement @ this age.. gives me joy, lots of pple dont have that, so Alhamdulillah even if we ain’t there yet, we are also not where we used to be… and C’mon we need u to come out of ur shell if u thinking of withdrawing, let’s make the best outta this Silver Age… it’s a nice Medal to have

    • Reply omotolaniee February 17, 2016 at 10:24 am

      Aeesha!!!!! That’s very deep and encapistulating . You just explained it all. okay okay , you know I’m always ready to come out of the shell for you.

  • Reply Lateefat February 17, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    Old woman. I think it’s a phase but *shrugs* what do I know?

    • Reply omotolaniee February 18, 2016 at 7:20 am

      Lol young woman. Well, Maybe it is

  • Reply Bunmi February 18, 2016 at 12:36 pm

    As we grow (not age), we realise what’s important and who isn’t. We decide if we want to indulge foolishness and allow dramatists a little space in our lives. If it’s too consuming, we create a world of our own and love it like mad, even jealously sef. However, since we were not made nomads or birthed in the forest, it means others matter in our development. 25 makes you the newest big aduItafter 18 and it comes with responsibilities (there have always been responsibilities but it becomes official, like you have to prove a point you’re qualified to be seen and treated as an adult).

    Love everyday you live and forgive the people around you for their excesses. Be good to yourself but don’t live life alone. There’s much joy to be shared in selected company and much happiness to be granted by the smallest of moments. I’m amazed that all of you is 25 😍🙄💁🏽💋, I love you even more for your comportment and grace.

    Your fan, always.

    • Reply omotolaniee February 19, 2016 at 10:44 am

      ‘You are amazed that all of me is 25’. Awww Bunmi, I cherish you wholeheartedly. People like you make my roses bloom

  • Reply Eniola February 19, 2016 at 9:59 am

    Best believe I was the first to read this post! But then again, life happens 😉
    I can relate with you becoming self-aware, clocking 25 is definitely a dawner. Good thing is, you can look back, smile and hold your head up high.
    Before 25, I had set desires for when I’d be 25 and it was a driving force for me to aspire more. And with the help of God everything was attained except one for which I didn’t beat myself up. Now I have more for 30!

    • Reply omotolaniee February 19, 2016 at 10:43 am

      I really do thank God for many things I can look back and smile on. Thanks for the reminder. I hope your 30 bangs and you achieve all you dream of. You inspire me, can’t say that enough.

  • Reply omobolaji February 19, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Proud f you sis,Life dey say starts at the end of ur comfort zone…I fink 24 is what dey r talking about here.Trust me swt,before you know it,ds new phase ll pass

    • Reply omotolaniee February 19, 2016 at 3:47 pm

      Thanks brother. I cherish you

  • Reply Sa'eedah Imam March 1, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Chai! Password ish no lemme comment since!!! Hmmm there she goes at 25☺soon leaving me to her husband’s house. Last year or the year before that i witnessed was lit. So sadly, i missed that one in a million plantain sauce, them FantaHulle hillarious shoki steps. I can bet they shakitibobo now.
    God bless u and ur great pair of eyes at 25 Zhul, meet u there soon😆

  • Reply jimi March 9, 2016 at 1:30 am

    This I am going to repost on my birthday, literally explains everything going through my head.

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