Life as I see it Technology Uncategorized

HOW HEALTHY IS STALKING?

October 20, 2015

stalk b

Lol. I know you guys would be thinking: Ki tunni Tolani gbe wa yi? (Meaning What is this Tolani came with again). Well, the spirit brings different messages and I go with the flow. So, make una take me like that.

Wikipedia defines Stalking as an  unwanted or obsessive  attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harrassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. From this definition, I have an inkling that we are supposed to view stalking as a very bad thing. I mean, Wikipedia even goes further to say It is a criminal offence. Oops!

I believe that the idea of stalking doesn’t necessarily have to do with following people physically. As It has done everything else, Social Media has made Stalking easier and more popular as It is easy to follow a person’s activities just by observing the person’s online activities. It is easier when the person puts a whole lot out there. It just makes the stalking activity easy for the Stalker and makes the Stalkee open to all sorts of things (errrm). The stalkee becomes that almost naked woman who caused her own plight by selling off all her items of clothing

Stalk 2.

We cannot totally rule out the advantages of Stalking as It has saved some people from ruin and has helped in avoiding certain Tragedies. Yes, Tragedies! You plan to execute a plan and you see some information lieing around and that just about saves you a whole lifetime of unwanted stress or mistakes. In as much as you might want to be reliant on your stalking skills to decipher things,  One has to be really careful while Stalking . Lol.  You have to be consistent and accurate at your stalking game. You want to stalk someone to get some information? Notice everything, I repeat, Everything! (Now don’t act like you haven’t stalked someone before).

You don’t want to work on half information while you ignore the other or just decide not to see it. For instance, a girl you like posts something like : ‘I like Tall guys’ and you start to jump in excitement because you believe you are tall and you have a chance with her.  You might even start preparing your wooing message only to find out you missed her second post where she said :That’s why I  love My boyfriend/husband, He is tall’. Get the drill now? You just waste your time building up Toasting skills when the person in question is with someone else

.Stalk 1

It already looks like I’m encouraging you guys to keep stalking others. Errr, well, not exactly. I’m just an advocate of Investigation! Lol. You observe and investigate!. I have to add that some people just make it really easy for their stalkers. Every piece of clothing they wear and how well they match it is a topic for their page. People go as far as telling us when they just had coital with their spouses. Gross yh? Well, they say it’s freedom of expression .I even heard of a young lady who posted her flight details on Instagram and a very bad Samaritan decides to help her with cancellation (okay now that’s a very mean thing to do). But in the real sense of it, why put up your flight details? Does that signify upping your societal acceptance game?

Stalking could get really bad especially when the stalker starts having negative plans for the ‘stalkee’. We have heard of instances where men stalk their wives and vice versa to do terrible things to them, friends stalk one another to gather incriminating evidence, Strangers stalk to have a feel of what your life is about amongst other instances. It is of record that most people in the world have been victims of stalking at least once in their lifetime. They might not directly know because the stalkers did not leave hints while some get unlucky and find out too late. Some lose their lives in the process while some get themselves in all kinds of mess. It could be really haunting when you know your every move is being watched by someone who you don’t even have an idea of how they look.Stalk 3

So what I think is, you don’t want people to know that much about you? You keep it. It’s no longer the times of slow information. Information spreads fast via New media and the way it is going, It would get faster. So, as a stalkee, reduce your activity update and I have a feeling you are safe to an extent. To the Stalkers, hmnnnn. Make una dey do small small o, Don’t let it get creepy. Stalking could be subtle and without bad intentions. I think It is when it gets extreme that it becomes unhealthy. And remember, It could be a criminal act. I’m out! BOS

Stalk a

Stalker: Person who stalks

Stalkee : Person who is being Stalked  (Pardon my language).

Photo credit : baysidejournal.com, firstslice.com, pininterest, apogeesocialmediagroup.com

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46 Comments

  • Reply thebeautifulnothings October 20, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Stalking is both a gud and a bad thing. Not a bad idea to stalk someone you like in order to verify your perceived interest but when that interest becomes an obsession a lot can go wrong especially when your interest goes unnoticed by the stalkee

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 11:30 am

      That exactly is my point.At that subtle stage, I call it observation and investigation. Lol

    • Reply kolade October 20, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      Stalking isn’t healthy at all o.. Although most of us do it out of curiousity.
      For those who stalk girls, don’t be discouraged, I know alot of girls who talk about their ‘non&existent” boyfriends and make it look all perfect while loneliness is killing them.

      • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 2:29 pm

        Looool that is so hilarious. @ non existent boyfriends. smh.

  • Reply Houseofmoh October 20, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Lol stalking is never healthy. It has put me in too many troubles. I don’t even Wana try it anymore. Just live my niccurh. And I’ve learnt to keep my stuffs really private

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 11:32 am

      Hmnnn.It put you in trouble? Aww must have been dished out in huge sizes. lol. Yea I totally support the latter sentence.

  • Reply Bukky October 20, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I’m a stalker 😁… Well, stalking on social media is something I do for fun.. I don’t even have to know you personally to stalk you, I just do it Lol

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 11:53 am

      Lmao Bukola we do this! We aint even out to hurt nobody.

  • Reply Uloko Ibe October 20, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Let the stalker stalk no more! If I catcham for me I go vex am for me lol. Nice article there.

  • Reply ahmed October 20, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I have just 2 opinions.. first stalk small and set p.. that’s healthy.. but Stalking for a long time ehnn.. it is not healthy cos with time lots of ideas get into the brain of the stalker.

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      Hmnn Ahmed you seem very versed in this stalking game o. lmao

  • Reply Molola October 20, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    I think I’m exceptionally good at stalking. But I’m done doing that now, learnt my lesson In a most unpleasant way

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 2:27 pm

      Hmnn Why do I feel like I want to know that unpleasant experience? Might serve me one lesson or two. lol

  • Reply Seun October 20, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Stalking is good and also bad. Thanks for this tola. Love u

  • Reply MrJayCouture October 20, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    What shall you gain monitoring other people’s life or lifestyle, whichever the case may be?!
    Stalking is bad, it is wrong, it is unhealthy, it is everything not good.

    Not sure I’ve ever stalked anyone though, except for my gf before she became my gf, I got to know she had no bf by stalking her, then some other girl before my gf, I got to know she had a bf, so I didn’t bother waste my time, I think some n*gga too who claimed to have left country, then another girl who claimed to have a bf and started doing me yanga, and then a dud…….i don’t stalk :|.

    Just kidding anyways. We stalk for different reasons, if i’m gon stalk you, just be sure it’s nothing serious nor harmful, I’m always subtle , that’s if I successfully find the time to stalk you :p.

    A lot of people have turned it into a hobby though, you just may find it listed under their hobbies in their CVs or on their linkedin profiles. They are so used it. Even when they can ask you “would you be at Tolani’s birthday party”, they start checking your updates on bbm, check your twitter, Facebook instead, just to know if you have or will be writing anything about it.

    Enough said.

    OmoTolani, nice one dear. Keep it up.

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 7:39 am

      I see what you did there! Lol we have all been both at one time or the other jare. Stalker/Stalkee

  • Reply laitanbabs October 20, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    Stalking is not healthy Abeg…I’ve been a victim.
    I stalk one guy I don dey admire since on whatsapp so tey I see his (and fiancé) prewedding picture on his Dp,my head correct immediately😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • Reply omotolaniee October 20, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      Lol Laitan but didn’t that save you? I mean, ddnt you stop crushing? Lol

  • Reply laitanbabs October 20, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    I didn’t just stop crushing,I dislike them immediately,like the girl no even fine sef lmao #jealous 😂😂😂😂nah heartbreak😂😂😂

    • Reply Cookie October 20, 2015 at 5:55 pm

      Omo I dey stalk o. I stalk very well sef. E dey save person Gan. Lmao

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 7:40 am

      Omg you are so me! The girls are never fine. lmao. *Tucks in jealousy*. Group hug?

  • Reply Captmuyizo October 20, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    Have you been Stalking me?? Lol .. In my opinion, stalking is Creepy! Some really smart people only let you see what they want you to see (I do that a lot). I like pretty straightforward people who just confront whoever and get whatever answers they need.

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 7:41 am

      Muyiwa No I have not been stalking you. Asides that you live in Abuja and folks stay in Ibadan and you are here or there at particular times and and errm . lol. It’s better to ask sha.

  • Reply mozys October 20, 2015 at 10:15 pm

    Have I told you I am one of you stalkers?

  • Reply Abdul-Quddus October 20, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    How did I get here, through stalking. Lol. It shouldn’t be bad, except it becomes an obsession. With obsessions come fantasies and fantasies leave us frustrated, because they exist only in our heads. Bottom line, stalk small, make move. If space dey, “make eba for there”. If chance no dey, move on, and never ever stalk again… except one in a while 🙂

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 7:42 am

      Hmnn Abdul Quddus. Thanks for being my ‘stalker’ . Lol

  • Reply Bunmi October 21, 2015 at 7:35 am

    I musta been a stalkee too niyen sha. Even if it was mildly. I thought I was helping and saving myself from a lot of troubles so I did what I had to do. It helped though. Despite the fact that the result wasn’t favourable, I was doubly and thoroughly sure it was real and true. A well written piece, keep it up!

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 7:43 am

      See Bunmi that’s my point. You find helpful information that in turn guides your decisions. Stalking can be healthy abeg

  • Reply adewale October 21, 2015 at 10:29 am

    Nice piece!. if checking out a total stranger on social media from afar to get an insight about them is also tagged Stalking, then i think am guilty of Stalking on the author of this article. lmao! …..thou in the first place i wouldn’t have been on this blog page if i didnt stalk.
    That bn said, I think it’s ok to stalk coz a healthy one would help u look before u leap! as in ”ki eyan to be bi Kangaroo and get ela oju kan”
    healthy stalking is insightful, informative, time&energy Conserving.

    For a Boy-girl thing, e.g u could stalk on someone and then anticipate what their answers could most likely be so you could get your walk on without even SETTING A P!

    I mean, Countries stalk on one another too. China,Russia & USA have been going back and forth on it. They call it SPYING!

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 11:12 am

      Hmnn Adewale the healthy stalker. Lol. So what have you found out about the author of the post ? I hope they are on the positive side. Thanks for stopping by.

  • Reply Eniwealth October 21, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Hian! Once I got a notification of an ex liking my video on Instagram, I immediately remembered the idiot and blocked him. He sure had been at it long before that day, he was probably waiting for the video to load when he mistakenly double tapped.
    I wouldn’t call myself a bonafide stalker, my stalking abilities are lacking sef as I tend to get bored easily and even sometimes feel like I’m being nosy for asking too much about certain things even from close friends.
    PS: all stalkers are welcome to my world. They have forever to watch me bloom 😘

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Eniola you go girl! Lol that ex issue ehn. It is sad cos most of them don’t even know how to go about it discreetly. You just wake up to notifications of likes and what nots from time to time. lmao. And yes, we are proud stalkees! too much to show the world yo

  • Reply Mueyna October 21, 2015 at 11:10 am

    How healthy is stalking? Uh I’m gonna go with not so healthy. But sometimes you find yourself doing it unconsciously, you find yourself on a page and can’t remember how you got there. (social media i.e)

    Physical stalking is criminal, talking from experience your stalker could be dangerous and it’s way too creepy.

    But I’m guessing we are all guilty of finding out information on our own without asking the person in question lol so we’re “stalkers” even though I don’t consider that stalking, some of us are just good FBI agents 😛

    Because hey, stalking is not healthy.

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Mueyna the FBI Minister! oshayyyyy. Lol exactly why I said We should go with calling it ‘ Investigation and Observation’. It is when It gets creepy that it is dangerous and criminal! Thanks for reading hun

  • Reply Bj October 21, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Stalking can be fun and disastrous..
    For me, I derive pleasure doing it and only do when bored. It’s such an unconcious act most times.even though we know it’s a bad thing to do, we can’t still help but stalk….lol
    Will I ever stop ? God help me..😂

    • Reply omotolaniee October 21, 2015 at 12:38 pm

      Lol Bj. social media has succeeded in making us unconscious stalkers. You just find yourself lingering on different pages. No harm intended so we are still healthy stalkers!

    • Reply Feyi October 22, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      Wellll. Stalking can be healthy and unhealthy. Moderation in everything we do is just key.

  • Reply Adetunji Adediran October 21, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    stalking the stalker!!! well wit the advent of social media, the word stalk should be removed or not used in the e-parlance, cos there is/are privacy setting that can be set on ones page/profile/site to prevent unwanted visitor, whoever that is privy to your stuff is your friend or has been given right to such information and if the activities such person is doing with privilege given, then such an individual can be deprived of such, by blocking, removing and or un-following such person. my bits#

  • Reply Haleemah November 5, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Lol @ your apology for using the word ‘stalkee’.
    Stalking is fun. What else would you be doing on social media if you are not stalking?.. For Instagram I enjoy looking at people’s pictures alot(if that is stalking) for no reason,(No harm intended) so I usually find my self anywhere and at anytime. And in my adventure, if i find any juicy information for my consumption, oh yeah, all well and good.
    And for the stalkee who has decided to stay lowkey with his/her personal life style and not bring everything on social media, some of us still find a way of getting to know in real life… Lool, (we bad like that) creepy yh.
    For Facebook and Twitter, some folks usually have interesting things to scribble on those platforms you just wanna ‘stalk’ them to see what intereresting update they have to offer their audience.

    • Reply omotolaniee November 6, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Loooool creepy girl! We are all stalkers jare

  • Reply Haleemah November 5, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    Oh… And for LinkedIn its cool to know what other serious thing you do with your life apart from the whole IG, fbk and Twitter steez… Hehehehe

  • Reply Abdulhammed November 22, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    When I was in jss2, I actually followed a girl home without her knowing

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